


the poison leaves bit by bit

by penspencils1719



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: All gaang friendships are critical, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anti-Kataang but very pro-Aang, Bisexual Katara, Bisexual Zuko (Avatar), Decolonization, F/F, F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Ignores the kisses in the last 5 min of the show, Katara (Avatar)-centric, Politics, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:27:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 29,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27828256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/penspencils1719/pseuds/penspencils1719
Summary: After the war, Katara struggles to breathe.She’s always known who she is and what her duty was - now she hasn’t got a clue. She didn't realize that learning to live, after just surviving for so long, would be this hard.OR: Katara falls in love with Zuko, but first she learns to love herself.OR: Katara travels the world, Zuko supports a political revolution, Aang faces his trauma, Toph accepts help from her friends, Suki inspires other women, Sokka leads, and everyone heals.
Relationships: Katara & The Gaang (Avatar), Katara/Zuko (Avatar), Mai/Ty Lee (Avatar), Sokka/Suki (Avatar)
Comments: 71
Kudos: 127





	1. waiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katara continues to heal a bedridden Zuko after the Agni Kai. Together, they wait to reunite with the others.

***

_“The poison leaves bit by bit, not all at once._

_Be patient. You are healing.”_

_Yasmin Mogahed_

***

She’s not even sure it actually happened. 

_Azula screamed._

Under the light of Sozin’s Comet, everything feels like a dream. 

_The Fire Sages bowed._

Even now when they’ve won, she wonders if it was a nightmare. 

_“Katara speaks in my name.” Zuko said. “Her word is law.”_

She can’t tell how much time has passed. Maybe minutes. Maybe days. 

_He collapsed into her arms as soon as he said the words._

She doesn’t let herself cry because that would take energy she needs for him. 

_They all took him to his old bedroom in the palace. She ordered everyone she saw for more water._

She can’t pull her hands away now. 

_His heartbeat grew fainter under her hands. But she caught it and refused to let go._

As he sleeps on the bed and she sits in a chair beside him, she touches his elbow, his fingers, his knee, his chin.

_She summoned all the anger she had inside of her._

Even now that he’s breathing evenly, she’s so sure that in just the amount of time it takes to close her eyes and open them, he’s going to fade away.

_The fury held her upright. It kept her strong. Strong enough for both of them._

She’s hated him before, but she feels a special hate for him now - a hate that stems from helplessness, from wishing desperately that he was less than he is - less stupid, less brave, less selfless. 

_“If you’re willing to die for me,” She growled. “You better be willing to live.”_

She wishes she was less too. She wishes she could be so small that he would never again consider her worthy of sacrificing himself. 

_She felt it when his breath returned. She knew when it was safe to collapse._

She adjusts his blanket, wipes his sweating forehead, checks his pulse. 

_But she didn’t let herself lose consciousness._

Maybe she’s holding onto him because she’s the one who’s about to fade. 

***

Zuko wakes up sometime when there’s still a little light left in the sky, though the blazing red of the comet has begun to fade into an almost gentle pink. The sight makes Katara wonder how the aftermath of destruction can look so soft on their skin. The rays of light become a tender flush spreading across Zuko's face, making him seem so much more alive than he was only a few hours ago. He’s bleary and confused now, but he manages to find her eyes. 

“Aang?” He mouths. 

“He’ll be back soon.” She whispers with a confidence that she can’t afford not to have. 

Then he reaches for her hands. He falls asleep before he finds her. 

Katara still laces their fingers together and doesn't let go. 

***

It dawns on Katara, rather randomly, that Azula is the same age as her. 

Somehow, that doesn’t make her feel better or worse. Like most things, it just is. 

Katara doesn’t bother worrying about whether the Fire Sages unchained the firebender. They won’t declare a side until they know if the Avatar was victorious. And if Aang had been defeated… what any of them did with Azula would hardly matter. 

***

She wonders, at some point, if she’s the one lying in bed, feverish and sick. 

***

“Zuko?” She gasps as she wakes suddenly, and rubs a trail of drool off the corner of her lip, which tastes so stale and cold. Her back aches from falling asleep in such an awkward position on the chair. 

Panic suddenly courses through her entire body. She wasn’t supposed to succumb to sleep, not yet, not when they’re both surrounded by danger - _how could she be this foolish?_ \- the sky is completely dark now, but there are candles burning in all corners of the room, so someone must have come in and left them without her realizing - _really_ , _how in the world could she have_ let _herself be this foolish?_

She lets out a breath of relief when her eyes land on his sleeping form. He’s curled up on his side, with his scar facing away from the mattress. His face looks more peaceful now as he slumbers on. There's no longer any tossing and turning, and his hand is still holding one of hers. 

Just as she’s about to settle back, she remembers the flash of blue. As if it’s burned to the back of her eyelids. 

She remembers him jumping in front of the light. She remembers her mother telling her to walk away. 

She feels as if she’s moved through decades already, either into the future or into the past. 

If she looks in a mirror, maybe she’ll see an old woman. Or a child. 

One or the other. 

***

It’s dark when Zuko's own coughing wakes him up again, and he automatically tries to pull himself up into a sitting position, while smacking his chest in a ridiculous attempt to soothe it. Katara's been composing letters to her brother and friends in her head, over and over again, to hold back the waves of exhaustion begging her to close her eyes, but the noise immediately draws her to her feet. 

“Don’t try to get up - ” She grabs his shoulders to hold him still, but he shifts out of her grasp. 

“Have you been awake since the Agni Kai?” He rasps, looking much too worried about her, especially considering his own lungs want to crawl out of his throat. 

“Doesn’t matter, just stop moving, you - “

“ - I’m fine Katara - " 

“ _You’re not fine!”_ She snaps.

He stops and stares at her. It's only then that she realizes it's been long since she last saw the color of his eyes. Suddenly, she can’t hold back the tears. 

“Katara?” His bewildered expression is blurry behind all the water. “Why are you crying?” 

She flinches. “In case you didn’t realize, you got hit by _lightning!”_

“I’m okay though.” He’s tilting his head and his voice is soft, but it’s too uncertain, and much too questioning. 

“ _And why do you think that is?_ ” She almost shrieks. “I've been healing you this entire time, but you’ve still been unconscious for hours! You almost died, you ridiculous, stupid _firebender!”_ Now she’s sobbing in earnest, but she still keeps trying and failing to pull the fallen blanket back over his shoulders. 

“Katara I - " He leans closer, but then he’s clutching his chest again and doubling over with a groan. That spurs her back into action. 

“Don’t talk.” She demands, any trace of tears immediately dissipating from her voice as she summons water from her bowl, on the table beside the bed. “Just take some deep breaths.” 

“You… you already healed it.” He groans again. 

“Clearly not enough.” 

“You’re overworking yourself!” He mutters through clenched teeth. “I’m fine, it just hurts a bit - “ 

“Are you the healer here?” She glares. “I decide when you’re fine.” 

Her heart aches when he squeezes his eyes shut from the pain. “Please Zuko.” She begs in a gentler voice. “Please don’t make this harder than it needs to be. For both of us.” 

He lifts his eyes to fix her with a resigned look. “Stop if it becomes too much.” 

“I will.” She lies. 

He clearly tries to keep quiet as she works, but the noises he can’t keep inside of him punctuate the silence. Finally, his muscles relax. “Thank you.” A sigh of relief escapes his lips. 

It’s only when she tries to nod that she realizes how tense her body is. She drops her shoulders, which had risen up to her ears in anxiety, and falls back into the chair. Moments pass as they both struggle to find their breath again. She wants to string together a set of words that will _convince_ him to regret his actions, but her emotions keep burning away the nouns and verbs she can think of, until all that's left in her mind is an ache too confusing to describe. 

“Why, Zuko?” The question she's been asking herself for hours finally spills out. She has no energy left to swallow it down, like she's been doing again and again all night, even though she knows the boy needs rest more than an interrogation. 

He clearly lacks energy himself, since his head rolls awkwardly when he tries to meet her eyes. “...Why?” 

“Why did you - " She shakes her head helplessly. “Why did you risk everything - ” Her voice drops impossibly lower. “ _Everything..._ for me?” A quiet hangs between the two of them for some time, but it's stretched tight and ready to break. 

“It wasn’t something I had much time to think about.” He finally says. 

“Well, you should’ve!” The anger returns just when she needs it. “You’re the Firelord Zuko! What would've happened to the Fire Nation if…” She shakes her head again. “The world needs you! You can’t just… you can’t just risk _everything we've fought for_ without thinking!” 

“I didn’t say that I didn’t know what I was doing.” His voice is much too calm against her own frenzied words. “I just… knew that you needed to live. I needed to make sure of that.” 

“That’s not an answer!” A feeling of dread rises through her body. “I’m not the Avatar or a leader - ”

“You are a leader for your people!”

“They would have survived without me!” She growls. “My death wouldn’t have thrown an _entire nation_ into a succession crisis right after we fought with our lives to end this war!” 

“Uncle Iroh could have - ”

“No he couldn’t! No one outside the Fire Nation would have accepted him taking the throne, you know that! How could you be so - ” 

“Everyone _needs_ you Katara.” Zuko has a resigned look on his face as the words seem to fall out of him, and they shock her into a momentary silence. “We don’t know what the world’s going to look like tomorrow. If tomorrow ever comes. But,” Zuko coughs and she automatically reaches for his back to help soothe him. “Whatever it brings, whatever it needs to become… it needs you.” 

That’s the worst possible answer he could’ve given. 

“No.” She shakes her head. “No, that’s not right.”

“Katara - ” 

“ _Stop.”_ She presses her fingers against her temples. “You can’t think that.” 

“Think what? That you’re important?”

“Yes. You can’t think I’m worth that much.” She begs him to understand. “I will never, ever, _ever_ be good enough to be worth your life.” 

“I think differently.” His mouth becomes a stubborn line. “And I’m sure most people would agree with me.” 

“Don’t make this about your ridiculous inferiority complex!” 

“It’s not.” He finally loses his composure and glares. “It’s not about that at all. You’re important, regardless of how I feel about myself.” 

“If you _died_ ,” The word sends a shiver through her body. “I would have had to spend the _rest of my life_ trying to make your sacrifice _worthwhile_ , and I wouldn’t have been able to, because nothing would have been enough, and I’m… I’m not strong enough for that. I’m not strong enough to lose someone else and try to pretend it made sense _\- ”_ Her babbling breaks off when his hand finds her cheek. It takes seeing the water on his fingers to realize that she’s crying again. 

“You’re talking about your mother.” He understands. “You don’t want to go through that pain again.” 

“Yes, well, I’m selfish.” She moves away from the warmth of his skin. “I wish you knew that before the Agni Kai.” 

He scoffs. “You’re the farthest thing from selfish.” 

_“See?”_ Another wave of emotion rolls through her. “Don’t you get it? You think I’m selfless and heroic but _I’m not!_ I lost my mom so I became obsessed with proving I could save others. I had no control over what happened to my tribe so I wanted to become strong enough to make sure no one else would ever be able to hurt us. _Hurt me._ I do all this stuff so I don’t have to accept that I’m scared. _Really scared._ And here you are, sacrificing yourself because you think I’m some perfect little hero - ”

He doesn't blink as he looks at her now, and the lack of surprise on his face makes her sure he’s seeing too much. 

“I don’t think you’re perfect.” He offers her a small smirk. “I often find you pretty damn irritating actually.” 

Despite everything, a breathless laugh falls from her lips. 

“Has it ever occurred to you,” Zuko continues, “That people just might think you’re worth protecting, even if you’re not a hero, and you just have to let them make that choice?” 

“I became strong to protect _them_.” She whispers. “I came to fight Azula to protect _you._ I’m not… I’m not a _helpless little girl_.” She says the last part more to herself than to him. 

“You’re not helpless. And you’re not a hero. You’re…” He trails off as he stares at her. “You’re just Katara. And that’s worth a lot.” 

She can’t summon any more words to her lips. There's something in his eyes - it's not adoration or fondness, because those things are easy to shift and re-shape. It's something that feels a little more uncertain, but much more permanent. It's clear that nothing will convince Zuko he made the wrong choice by protecting her, and she feels it so deeply, this fear that she no longer has any control over his faith in her. But his words also reach through her chest and latch unto a corner of her heart. They tug, and she's not sure if she should fight the impulse to let them take her where they want. 

He watches her face, seeming interested in the way her conflicting emotions are likely rippling across it. “You trusted me when I said I could take Azula. Right?” 

Slowly, she nods her head. 

“Then trust me now when I say the world needs you. It needs your compassion... strength... hope.” He licks his drying lips and Katara doesn't think before bending a few sips of water into his mouth. The conversation's clearly drained him of energy, and she hates how his face has lost some color since they started talking, so she helps him back down into a laying position when she’s done, while ignoring his half-hearted protests. 

Though she can't stop him from forcing out a few more words for her. “I’m sorry my choice made you feel so powerless. B-but," His voice begins to slur from the exhaustion. "I _had_ to do what I felt was... right. And maybe...” His eyes flutter shut. “Maybe I was being a bit selfish too.” 

He’s asleep again before she has a chance to ask him what he means by that. She’s left staring at him for what feels like hours, wondering how this all happened when she finally thought she had enough power to protect people, especially the ones she cares about most. But how can she protect them from caring too much about her? 

***

The candles burn out some point in the night, and she can’t tell the difference between the darkness of the room and the darkness of sleep. 

At least that’s what she tells herself to feel better about closing her eyes and letting go. 

***

The next time she gets up, the candles have been lit again, and there’s a stranger huddling beside the bed. 

“Hey!” Katara immediately springs into action and bends ropes of water, over Zuko’s body, to wrap around the person’s wrists. From the corner of the eye, she registers that he’s awake and gasping with shock. 

“Excuse me!” The woman tries to pull away, but Katara refuses to release her. 

“Who are you and why are you here?” She demands. 

“I was only checking - ” 

“Katara, she’s a healer, it’s okay!” Zuko tries to calm her down by reaching for her arms, but she's stronger than him right now and easily shoves him off. “I gave her permission!

“I didn’t!” She snarls at him. “I didn’t say anyone else could heal you!” 

“Alright, alright, I’ll go!” The healer snaps. 

Katara finally releases the woman, who scrambles away with both a confused and miffed expression. Normally, Katara would bend the water back into her pouch or a bowl, but she's so distraught that it all just collapses unto the bed when she lets go. She ignores Zuko's little yelp at the cold that seeps through the blanket, unto his legs. 

“Why would you let someone else try to heal you?” She growls at her stupid friend, trying to silently calm her racing heart, which for a moment was sure Zuko would die because she was weak enough to fall asleep. 

“Katara,” He tries to grab her hands, but she knocks him away again and crosses her arms. “I know Doctor Sakai. She took care of me growing up.”

“She’s been supporting your father and sister then.” 

“Master Katara,” The doctor in the corner begins, “As I already proved to Prince Zuko before he _gave me permission_ to heal him, I am member of the Order of the White Lotus - “ 

“That means nothing to me.” Katara interrupts with a cold tone. She turns her fury back at Zuko, wondering how to make him understand that he can't be this selfish - he can't just decide that he's the only one who gets to take care of others. “ _I'_ _m_ your healer.” 

“You were finally sleeping,” He protests. “And I wanted you to get rest - ”

“You should have woken me! Rather than giving someone else the chance to hurt you.” To her shame, her eyes begin to fill with water _for the millionth time_ since they fought Azula, and she rubs at them furiously. “I couldn’t protect you before so the least you could do is let me protect you now!” 

“I’m sorry.” His words are honest. “I’m sorry I didn’t think about how you would worry. I won’t make any decision like that again without you. I promise.” 

For the first time since the Agni Kai, Katara throws her arms around him. She tries to be careful not to touch his wound with her own body while she hugs him, but when Zuko pulls her closer, she doesn’t bother fighting it. It turns out that the steady beat of his heart against her own is the only feeling that can comfort her. 

The doctor stands dumbfounded in the corner, and it takes her several minutes before she finally has the wits to bow and take her leave. 

***

They’re both still awake when the light of dawn begins pouring into the room. It’s a new day, and a new world, though they still have no idea what that means. The wait has only grown more agonizing over the course of the night, which is why Katara’s almost relieved when the door to the bedroom crashes open. 

She immediately leaps to her feet, twisting some water into an ice spear while blocking Zuko, who makes a noise behind her, clearly having tried and failed to get up himself. Before she has a chance to yell at her friend or the intruder, her vision focuses on who’s at the door. 

“General Iroh?” She pulls the water back into her pouch but still doesn’t step to the side, her anxiety keeping her from trusting anyone, even though she knows the Dragon of the West would never turn on them. 

Proving her point, the man’s face grows pale when he sees his bedridden nephew. He takes a disbelieving step forward. “Zuko?” 

“Uncle.” Zuko straightens his back and lifts his chin in a false sense of bravado. 

Iroh breaks out of his trance and rushes to Katara’s side. He clearly wants to take the boy into his arms, but seeks her eyes for permission first. When she nods, the older man grabs his nephew, but gently, and begins to cry. Zuko fills the room with protests that _‘he’s fine’_ and _‘there’s no need to get upset,’_ but there's still a desperation in the way he holds his uncle.

Katara stands to the side and watches the scene with her heart in her throat. She feels relief on Zuko’s behalf, because the one family member he loves is okay, but now she’s even more impatient for news on the others. As if reading her mind, Iroh turns his wet face to her. 

“Master Katara.” He places his hands together and bows deeply. She knows this is what they do, here in the Fire Nation, but the formality of the action fills her with some amount of embarrassment, even though she appreciates the respect. “I owe you a great debt. Indeed, the… the entire nation owes you a great debt.” 

Katara averts her eyes. “General Iroh, there’s no debt to repay. Zuko saved me and I saved him.” She glances at the boy. “I guess it’s what we do now, even though I hope not to make a habit out of it.” 

Zuko smiles, and Katara's struck by how rarely she sees his face light up, even in this small way. 

“My dear…” Iroh fixes her with an earnest gaze. “In less than a day, the news has already spread far… everyone’s saying that the waterbender of the Southern Water Tribe _won_ the Firelord’s crown for him.”

“Oh…" Katara shakes her head. “That’s not how it went.” 

“What are you talking about?” Zuko gives her a confused look. “That’s exactly what happened. _You_ defeated Azula.”

“Yes, but _you_ were winning the Agni Kai. I only had to step in because she _cheated.”_

“Azula cheating wouldn’t have mattered to anyone if you weren’t there to fight her.” 

“But if I wasn’t there, she wouldn’t have shot the lightning at me and...” 

“Well, she probably would have come up with another trick!” 

“You said that you could take her!” She places her hands on her hips. “You can’t just say _now_ that you’re sure she would have found a way to win.” 

“I was obviously wrong to be so confident before, which _you_ had warned me about.” He’s scowling at her now. 

“I don’t think - ”

“Why can’t you just take the credit you deserve - ”

“Regardless,” Iroh steps in to break the argument that’s still too raw to be amusing, “While the outcome has of course angered some, it seems to have brought others a lot of hope for our future.” 

“Aang!” Katara automatically grabs Zuko’s shoulder to steady herself. She doesn’t see his eyes widen with surprise. “Does that mean… you’re saying he…” 

Iroh nods with a smile. 

“Are the others safe?” She demands. 

“All your friends are well, with only minor injuries.” He settles on the bed beside his nephew and gives them time to comprehend his words, but Katara is too numb to process joy, or any other emotion, at the news. 

“What about Azula?” Zuko then asks. 

“You don’t need to worry.” Iroh says. “We had to block her chi before we moved her, but she was very tired and didn’t put up a fight.” 

“I don’t want her in a prison cell.” Zuko declares. “Despite everything she - she’s …” He seems to realize what he's suggesting may be controversial, so he looks to Katara with a nervous face. 

“She’s not well.” Katara steps in with a nod. “During the Agni Kai, she… it was hard to watch a person in so much pain, even if she was doing all of those awful things.” 

Zuko practically sighs with gratitude. It’s only then that she realizes she’s still holding his shoulder, which she lets go. 

“I thought you’d say that." Iroh directs both of their attention back to him. “And I agree. We’ve placed her in her palace bedroom for now, with a tea to keep her sleeping for some time, but we did have to secure her to the bed in case she wakes up and tries to fight.” 

Zuko and Katara exchange another glance at this information, not seeing any alternatives. 

“Thank you Uncle.” Zuko says. “Do you know where the others are?” 

“Your friends sent me a messenger hawk. They’re on their way here in an airship…” He gazes at them carefully. “With my brother.” 

They both flinch. Zuko even reels back so hard he smacks his head against the bed's headboard. 

“He’s alive?” The firebender growls. “But I thought Aang - “ 

“The Avatar was able to find an alternative.” Iroh rubs his hands together. “By removing Ozai’s bending.” 

Katara’s head spins. “How on earth did he learn to do that?” Before she has a chance to even fully understand how any of this is possible, Zuko interrupts them with an abrupt, no-nonsense tone.

“Then F - _Ozai_ \- could still technically be Firelord, couldn’t he?" He demands. "There’s no official rule that states a Firelord has to be a bender, is there?” 

“Not officially…” Iroh considers.

“There are still many people who could throw their support behind him then.” Zuko presses. “Bender or not, he could have access to a massive amount of military and financial resources.”

“Yes.” Iroh acknowledges. “But - ” 

“We’ll need to assemble a council with representatives from all the Water Tribes and Earth Kingdom right away.” Zuko continues. “We’ll need to make a unified decision before the Fire Nation military generals have a chance to mobilize, if they haven’t already - ”

“Zuko,” Katara interjects gently. “You’re not letting your Uncle finish.” 

The boy crosses his arms and glares, finally allowing some emotion to seep through to his face. “Well he’s the one who said I have to be the Firelord, so that’s what I’m doing! My father’s alive, which means he still has a lot of power, so we just have to deal with the situation - ” 

“Zuko.” Iroh silences him with a hand on his shoulder. “I know hearing about your father may be bringing up some emotion, especially after everything you’ve already been through. It’s okay to take a moment to grieve.”

“I’m fine!” Zuko knocks away his Uncle's attempt at comfort. “Grieving happens when someone dies, and no one’s dead, so there’s no grief!” 

Iroh remains unfazed from his nephew's outburst. “I just think you may be preparing yourself for the pain of having to face your father when you thought you wouldn’t have to anymore.”

“I don’t need you to psychoanalyze me right now!” He snaps, before pinching the bridge of his nose and taking a few deep breaths. Katara and Iroh wait for him to collect himself. 

“I’m sorry.” He finally begins again. “I promised myself that I wouldn’t let emotions take over me like this anymore.” 

Katara moves to settle down on the bed as well, beside him, and rests a hand on his shoulder. “I think your Uncle’s trying to say that he understands why there are emotions in you right now. I’m already feeling a lot of confusion and pain at the thought of having to see that… _evil_ man’s face, and he wasn’t my father.” 

“You said it better than I could, my dear.” Iroh smiles at her. 

Zuko doesn’t say anything, but he does grab her hand, still on his shoulder, to squeeze. She accepts his thanks with a squeeze back. 

“I’m sorry it has to be this way Zuko.” Iroh sighs. “I wish you had all the time in the world to process and recover from what you’ve been through. I wish I could take all of these burdens instead. But I’ve played a key role in our imperialism. To the rest of the world, I’m no better than Ozai. And they wouldn’t be incorrect by condemning me.” 

“I understand that Uncle.” Zuko says quietly. “Even though my hands are hardly clean. I did attack the Water Tribes and Kyoshi Island.” 

“There are things you will need to make amends for. But you are still young and have the power to move forward. And after everything that happened today…” Iroh gestures towards Katara with an incline of his head. “I’d say that you’ve already shown many people where your priorities lie.” 

“You won’t be alone Zuko.” She speaks again, even though everything still seems to be moving so fast she feels like she’s dreaming. “You’ll have our support. And Aang will be on your side.” 

“Thank you Katara.” He takes another deep breath. “But my father is still an issue.” 

“Politically yes. He likely will be.” Iroh says. “But the Avatar has re-claimed his place. He has demonstrated his power, and now that much of the world has seen it, including those in the Fire Nation, few will wish to openly challenge his power.” 

“And without even killing anyone.” Zuko laughs with a little bit of awe. “There’s really no one in this world like Aang.” 

Iroh lets the two of them sit with their thoughts for a few moments before turning his attention to her. “Forgive me Master Katara. After everything you’ve done, I should have immediately asked how you’re feeling.” 

“How _I’m_ feeling?” Katara chuckles without humor. “I’m not sure what to tell you. Right now I just want everyone I care about to be here soon, so I can make sure they’re okay.” 

“I’m sure they’re _very_ anxious to see you too." Iroh emphasizes. "But I think that it would be best for the two of you to at least _try_ to get some sleep in the meantime." 

Zuko is already nodding off, though he tries valiantly to hang on. “There’s still so much to discuss…” 

“All in good time, Prince Zuko.” Though Iroh says the words with a sad smile, as if he knows this will be one the last times he has a chance to use that title. 

“Uncle, make sure Katara sleeps.” Zuko slurs. “She’ll try to stay up and heal me, but I’m f - fine...” Katara snorts lightly while helping the boy back down into bed, careful to tuck the blanket around him so he doesn't kick it off during a dream. It wouldn't be a lie to say it provides her some satisfaction to see him too tired to fight her when she takes care of him. She even smoothes back some of his hair, just to prove her point, and she feels rewarded by his small, semi-conscious hum of satisfaction. 

"I’m guessing I cannot _make_ you do anything, Master Katara." Iroh says, not without a little amusement in his eyes, once Zuko is sleeping again. "Though I do agree with my nephew in saying that rest is something you would benefit from.” 

Katara gazes uneasily at the doorway. “I don’t trust anyone but me to stand guard. These people all supported Azula only a day ago.” 

“I think support is a questionable term to refer to the people who were mainly scared of her.” Iroh counters. “But I understand the anxiety. Would it help for me to stay here with you as you sleep?”

It’s enough for Katara to feel foolish rejecting the help, so she relents, even though she still feels an intense desire for it to be her, and only her, protecting her friend. 

Still, when she curls up next to Zuko on the bed, it doesn't take long to finally let the exhaustion consume her. 

***

It’s almost evening again when they finally hear the landing call of an airship outside. Katara’s trying to feed Zuko some congee when they freeze at the sound. She immediately leaps to her feet, but before she can run to the courtyard, Zuko grabs her hand. 

His unscarred eye is wide with fear. 

“Could you wait for them to come to us?” Zuko asks, biting his lip at her questioning look. “It’s stupid, because I know we’re not alone here anymore, but a part of me worries it’s someone else, not on our side, and I just… I don’t want to feel like you might be fighting someone alone.” 

Katara swallows, before nodding her head and sitting back down. They wait for many long minutes.

Eventually, they hear Sokka’s voice echoing through the halls. Katara’s entire body sags in relief, but she doesn’t turn around, not even when the door opens and everyone’s voices emerge. She’s scared that the minute she sees them, she’ll wake up from a dream into a much more awful reality. Zuko squeezes her hand, which gives her the strength to take a breath and slowly rise from her seat. 

The first thing she sees is her brother’s mangled leg. 

“Sokka, you’re hurt!” She gasps, before rushing to grab his arms. Suki, who’s been holding him upright, moves away with a reassuring smile. But her big brother - her brave, irritating, _wonderful_ big brother - only laughs.

“Katara, that’s not the first thing you should say after we win a 100 year war!” She ignores his dramatic noises of protest and continues to fuss until he properly pulls her into his arms. She doesn't hesitate to fall into them, so easily, like she always has. 

“We won Katara.” Her brother whispers while he both cries and laughs. “We’re alive and we _won.”_ She begins to cry and laugh with him. 

“You two need to get it together.” Toph sniffs beside them, but her voice is also small. Katara pulls away from Sokka to move closer to the younger girl, who's crossed her arms but still can’t stop herself from shaking.

“Toph,” Katara swallows. “Will you punch my arm please?” 

The girl stiffens. 

“I just missed you so much.” Katara whispers. 

Toph purses her lips, trying to keep her expression emotionless when she reaches over to punch Katara in the arm. Then a small cry escapes the earthbender's lips and she buries her face in Katara’s stomach. 

“Now who needs to get it together.” Sokka teases while hiding his eyes, but Katara is already crouching down to hold the girl closer, though Toph doesn't let the moment of vulnerability last for too long. When they both disentangle, Katara moves to hug Suki as well, all while muttering senseless thanks for the older girl being there to protect her brother. Suki only grasps her tighter, not needing any words to convey that she understands. 

By the time Katara lets go, Toph and Sokka are getting settled on the bed - with her brother beside Zuko’s legs and Toph wrapped around the firebender’s arm. 

“Don’t hug him too hard!’ Katara protests. 

“It’s okay Katara.” Zuko grimaces a little when Toph squirms against him, but he still holds the younger girl with a tenderness he doesn’t usually show. 

“They’re all saying outside that you almost died.” Toph whispers. 

Zuko rubs soothing circles upon the girl's back. “You’ll find that I’m not the only one in the Fire Nation who tends to dramatize things.” 

“Lightning to the chest doesn’t sound like something anyone was being over dramatic about.” Sokka says, but his unreadable eyes are focused on Katara. Then he turns and grabs one of Zuko’s arms. 

“You saved my sister you - ” Sokka shakes his head while tightening his grip on the other boy. “I owe you everything.” 

“Sokka... “ Katara attempts a half-hearted protest, but the emotion in her throat doesn't let any words escape. 

Zuko looks her brother solidly in the eye. “It wasn’t even a real choice to me.” An unspoken conversation seems to pass between the two. Sokka nods and only releases the other boy’s arms to give him a hug. The reminder to be careful is on the edge of her tongue, but it dies when she sees her brother's arms tremble. 

Toph latches onto the two of them. Suki, still standing, then tries to gather all of them into her arms. 

“Guys, don’t crush him.” A laughing voice emerges from the doorway, leading Katara to whip around. 

_Aang,_ she tries to say, but she can’t make any noise. She can only stare, taking him in. It hasn't been that long since she's seen him, so she's not sure why she expected something to dramatically change. Thankfully, everything that makes him Aang is still there - his soft eyes, his gentle smile, the tattoos he wears with so much pride...

 _You did it._ She wishes she could tell him. _You did it Aang. I knew you would._

_You’re worth every hope I ever had._

_But I’d love you even if you weren’t._

_And I don’t even care about the world right now - just that you’re okay._

_You’re okay._

_You’re okay._

He doesn’t seem to notice the waves of emotions moving through her body. He moves from the doorway to stand beside her. 

“I’m sure that Katara would appreciate it if…” He trails off when he sees her watering eyes. “Katara…?” 

She throws herself at him, gathering his tiny body in her arms. But when he lifts his own arms to hug her back, it feels like he’s the older one. In that moment, she can feel his entire eternity, standing so solid while she shakes. 

“I’m okay Katara.” It’s a relief to know his voice still sounds as young as ever. “Don’t cry.” 

She pulls away and wipes her eyes. “You… you left.”

“I know.” Aang touches her shoulder. “I had to go, but I’m sorry I didn’t tell you all before I went.”

That doesn’t even begin to answer all the questions she has, but Aang's already walking towards the bed before she can find the words, and the others shift to make room for him. 

“C’mon Zuko.” Aang touches the older boy’s shoulder as well. The gesture seems to carry the weight of the airbender’s newfound maturity. “I’m supposed to be the hero of the day.” He teases. “What are you doing trying to upstage me like this?” 

Zuko snorts with a smile. “Next time, I’ll make sure you get all the glory.”

Aang chuckles as well, before leaning forward to give the firebender a hug. 

“You’re also lucky I’m bedridden.” Zuko adds, but with a tone lacking any real anger. “I was planning on kicking you into the next century for pulling that disappearing act on us.” 

“That is good.” Aang says. “I already missed one century and I would hate to miss another.” 

“Then you better stay close, Twinkletoes.” Toph grumbles from Zuko’s other side. 

“You’re my family guys.” He smiles at all of them. “There’s no place I’d rather be. And even if I ever have to leave again, this is where I’ll always come back.”

From a couple steps away, Katara watches the people she loves hold each other. Emotions pass so easily from one to the other as they touch, but she's stuck inside of her confusion. Feeling deeply has always filled her with courage, so why are her emotions terrifying right now? There's suddenly a transparent wall, separating her from the rest of them. The longer this feeling lasts, the more difficult it is for her to breathe, and that only propels her even farther away. 

“Katara?” Suki sends her a concerned look. “Why are you standing over there?” 

“Yeah, you’re the one obsessed with group hugs.” Sokka laughs, but his eyes grow worried as well. “Come join this one.” 

She swallows. 

“You guys need...rest." Her stomach twists, because she's never had to work her brain so hard to find the right words. "But if more people are back from the fighting, they must need healers right now." She latches on to the small bit of calm slipping into her mind, now that she's landed on a course of action that she's _sure_ will ease her confusion. "I should go help, but come get me _right away_ if Zuko starts feeling pain again.” 

Then she turns, and without a look back, practically runs from the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was originally planning on finishing this first chapter back in October, but life and uni for the last couple months have been a time and a half to say the least. But I'm happy that we're finally here, and I hope for my winter break in a couple weeks to bring much more writing. 
> 
> I am really looking forward to writing this story - I've realized over many months that I have so many very deep and personal thoughts about everyone's journey after the show, especially Katara's, that are definitely not going to go away until I write them. The story will span the course of many years of the post-canon future, and I'm not entirely sure how many chapters it'll be yet, but I hope some of you will stick with me through it. 
> 
> Like it says in the tags, this fic ignores the Kataang and Maiko kisses at the end of the show because they make absolutely 0 sense to me, but I really care about those friendships, and I especially can't wait to explore more of Aang's beautiful character. 
> 
> If any of you are on tumblr, feel free to say hi to me at https://penspencils1719.tumblr.com/. 
> 
> I hope you all keep safe and healthy as we get through the final month of this ridiculous year!
> 
> (01/20/2021 Update: I decided to make a number of additions and edits to this chapter, because it wasn't where I wanted it, but I'm feeling much better now and hope others like it too!)


	2. disagreements

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katara feels better after talking to Suki, but then she gets into an argument with Iroh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My notes at the end of the chapter include my thank you to people who helped me with it all!

Even Katara can admit that it’s a bit of an over dramatic exit, so after throwing herself forward in no particular direction for a several minutes, she deflates and thinks of heading back to Zuko’s room. 

Unfortunately, she’s already lost. 

The halls are all identical, with the same marble pillars and red drapes and wall torches that appear every ten steps. She wonders briefly at why the Fire Lords bothered to steal so much wealth from other nations if they just wanted to use the money to make 500 versions of the same hallway. 

It seems like a waste to Katara, not that they’d value her opinions much. But their mediocrity angers her - to be conquered by people with such laziness boils her blood. 

Her anger makes her stubborn, so she doesn’t try to find someone who could give her directions back to her friends. She just huffs and keeps turning left or right at random whenever she has to make the choice, while hoping her path will lead her to a room with actual work for her to do. 

She’s probably wandered around for a good fifteen minutes before she feels a hand on her shoulder. Every cell in her body prickles as she whirls around. 

“Hey!” It’s Suki, who raises her hands in defense while taking a quick step back. “It’s just me!” 

“Oh...” Katara releases a breath. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to react like that.” 

“No worries.” The older girl slips her hands into her pant pockets with a practiced ease. “I’m trained to be light on my feet, but I imagine you don’t want people creeping up on you right now.”

Suki is all easy smiles, just like Katara’s brother. Everything slides off the two of them like water - things like confusion, anger, or guilt just don’t seem to stick for very long. At least that’s what it feels like to Katara. She tries to offer a smile, but it’s much too tight. She wonders why she can’t loosen up, now that there’s no need to worry. “I’ll calm down soon, I promise.” 

“You don’t have to promise that.” Without taking her hands out of her pockets, Suki leans closer to nudge Katara’s shoulder with one of her own. “You know, when it comes to the Kyoshi Warriors, everyone has different needs. After a difficult training session or fight, or any stressful time, some need time on their own, some want to hang out in a group, and some just want to be with one or two people.” 

“It sounds like you know them all really well.” Katara offers, as she shifts from foot to foot. 

“I try.” Suki chuckles. “But the point is that we all work better when we pay attention to each other’s needs. That way no one has to feel bad about whatever they do.” 

“That… sounds really nice. “ Katara admits. “You must miss them a lot.” 

Suki’s face darkens as she bites her lip. “Yeah, well. I shouldn’t complain. I was the one who let them down.” 

“Oh, _no_ Suki. _Not_ _at all._ I’m sure none of them think that.” Katara’s instincts take over and compel her to move again to grab Suki’s arm herself. “You defended them the best you could. Everyone knew the risks that came with their job, and you still put yourself on the line for them _every time_.” 

Suki offers a tight smile of her own. “I appreciate that Katara. I think this is just the worst part of being a leader. Spending all your time wondering how you could have been better. As you probably already know.” 

Then she gestures for them to keep walking. “I know you wanted to help the people returning from the fight, but I thought you might get confused about where to go. Iroh sent airships to rescue any soldiers from the fight or civilians who got caught in Ozai’s fires. But the hospital wing’s already so full that they’re taking the wounded to the throne room. It’s where Iroh and everyone important should be.” 

“Thanks.” Relief courses through her body as she follows the older girl. “I thought I would be walking around this maze for hours.” 

“I’m really happy to help.” The girl bites her lip again and looks down, seeming almost bashful for once. “Look… I know that when I joined you guys, I might have just been… the girl Sokka liked. I wanted to make sure that I didn’t intrude on your guys’ team dynamic. But I just hope you know that I _do_ really care about you, beyond the fact that you’re my boyfriend’s sister - ”

“Oh my, of course I don’t see you like that!” Katara stops and grabs both of Suki’s arms, while cursing herself for not paying enough attention to the other girl before now. “We all love you! You’re truly the only level-headed person in the group. I… I’m so sorry I didn’t help you feel welcome, because I felt so lucky to have you with us.” 

“Oh no, you never made me feel unwelcome Katara.” Suki assures her. “I think I was just so used to being the leader that I… wasn’t sure what my place was. Especially cause everyone already had a fierce girl keeping them in line.” Suki offers a teasing wink, but Katara can now see the tension lingering underneath her laughter. She wonders what other emotions she’s been missing in the people around her. 

“Still… it makes me sad that you felt separated from the rest of the group. Or that you thought we only accepted you because Sokka wanted that.” 

“Seriously, it’s mostly my own insecurities. I only mean to say that I do care about you. I know you have a lot of pressure on your shoulders, and I’ve been there. Except I had other girls to turn to - for the longest time, you just had a brother and two twelve year olds. So,” Suki pauses to roll on the balls of her feet and spread her arms. “Here I am!” She chuckles, which draws a small laugh out of Katara as well. 

“I really do appreciate it, Suki.” Katara looks down, embarrassed herself suddenly. “Growing up, most of the girls, and all the other kids, were either much older or much younger than me. Sokka and I usually stuck together, obviously because we love each other, but also because we didn’t really have any other choice.” 

“That makes sense. I’m glad you two had each other.” Suki nods, “But as much as I love your brother, you do need people in your life who tell better jokes.” 

“That’s for sure.” Katara chuckles, but she starts a little when they turn around a corner and arrive at the entrance of the throne room. 

The pillars and doors tower so high that she has to crane her neck. She wonders, not for the first time, why such opulence wasn’t enough for Fire Lord Sozin. What was it about having almost everything they could possibly desire that made some people just want more? 

“What pretentious bastards.” Suki snorts. “They probably made everything so big cause they wanted to fly into the room on their dragons, just to prove that they could.” 

Katara turns to the girl with wide eyes. “It’s like you read my mind.” 

They both stare at each other for a couple moments before bursting out in laughter, but they’re almost immediately silenced by a team of nurses who come rushing from around the corner with a crying man on a stretcher. Katara and Suki stumble out of the way as the others scramble to open the door. 

When she finds Suki’s eyes, they’ve gone cold. 

“No point waiting, I suppose,” The girl says. 

Katara doesn’t have an argument to that, so she follows Suki inside. 

***

There’s nothing to laugh about inside the throne room. Katara barely registers the massive throne, placed so high above everything else. She imagines that in any other situation, it would be impressive and intimidating, but with so many people wounded on the floor, it seems like a half-hearted attempt for a human to rise above their own mortality. 

Everywhere, there are people in singed red uniforms on the floor, coughing up water, twisting in pain from the burns, and bleeding from shards of metal buried in their sides. 

Suki shakes her head in dismay. “We didn’t think about all the people in those airships… we were just trying to stop it all.” 

Katara turns to look at Suki’s stricken face. “You can’t blame yourself for this.” She whispers. “You had no choice but to stop Ozai’s orders to kill everyone. If you hadn’t succeeded, a hundred throne rooms wouldn’t be large enough to hold everyone.” 

“Yeah but…” Suki wraps herself in her own arms. “It’s different seeing these people suffer and knowing it was… it was us.” 

Katara places a consoling hand on Suki’s shoulder, but also to hold herself upright. “If only that thought had crossed Ozai’s mind.” She murmurs. 

“Do you… think these people all had a choice?” Suki asks. “To fight Ozai’s war and… die for it?” 

It’s hard to look at any of their faces, each twisted in pain for far too long. But even Katara can see that some are older than her father, whereas some look as young as her own. 

“I guess that some did.” She responds, not able to offer much more. “And some didn’t.” 

“These are just the people Iroh’s airships were able to rescue.” Suki shakes her head. “So many of them must have drowned.” 

Katara sucks in a breath. “We need to focus on saving the living right now.” She scans the room until she spots Iroh in conversation with another man in red. He notices her not soon after, and gestures towards the side of the room. When she shakes her head in confusion, he begins making his way over with his friend. 

Iroh bows when they arrive. “Master Katara, Master Suki. Thank you for joining us, but it would be best for us to talk in a place with…” He grimaces as his eyes scan all the wounded bodies. “Less painful distractions.” 

They let Iroh usher them through a side door, which is what Katara now realizes he was gesturing towards. The exit leads to another identical hallway. 

“This is on the opposite side of the palace entrance, so we shouldn’t be in the way of any doctors or nurses passing by.” Iroh takes a good look at them. “I expected the two of you would be resting.” 

“You need all the help you can get right now.” Katara says, before finally looking at the face of the man beside them. She gasps. “Shyu!” 

The Fire Sage smiles and places his hands together to bow, but Katara throws her arms around his neck before he has the chance. 

“Oh!” Shyu slowly lifts his hands to return the hug. “It’s good to see you, my dear.” 

“We were so worried.” Katara’s voice is muffled. “Without you, Aang would never have learned about his destiny, but we just abandoned you when Roku started destroying the Fire Temple!” 

“There was no time for anything else.” He pats her back a little awkwardly. “I knew the risks when I made the choice to help the Avatar and his friends. Luckily, Fire Lord Ozai still has some faith left in the spirits, and thought it might be bad luck to burn a Fire Sage, so I was only thrown in the palace dungeon. But I appreciate your concern. I… didn’t expect it.” 

Katara can tell there is some lingering discomfort, so she pulls away. “We never forget our friends.” She still informs him. “I’m glad you’re here with us now.”

Shyu opens his mouth, then closes it again. “I’m… so touched. More than you can know.” Then he bows hastily. “I only came out here to offer my sincere thanks and congratulations. Everything you two young women have done to support the Avatar and end this war is impossible to put to words. The world is lucky to have you.”

Katara flushes red, while Suki nods with a quiet, “Thank you.” _._

Shyu bows again before saying, “I should be getting back to others to help with the wounded. I look forward to speaking more again soon, Master Katara and Master Suki.” 

As the Fire Sage moves back through the side entrance to the throne room, Katara turns to explain how they met him to the other girl in case she’s confused, but before she has the chance, Suki releases a cry of surprise. “Chizu!” Suki begins to run to a girl standing at the other side of the hall in a prison uniform. The sounds bring more girls running from around the corner, and they all begin screaming themselves before piling into one big hug. Katara watches her friend begin to cry and rest her face against the other girls’ arms. 

“The Kyoshi Warriors.” Understanding dawns on Katara. She turns to see Iroh’s pleased expression. “You released them along with Shyu?” 

“Of course.” Iroh nods, while clasping his hands behind his back. “We knew that Master Suki needed to be reunited with her women.” 

Something prickles at the back of her mind. “We?” 

“Myself, the Fire Sages, and some members of the White Lotus.” Iroh adds, as if that clarifies things. 

She doesn’t have a chance to voice her confusion before her thoughts are interrupted by a sudden, “Katara, _hi!_ ” 

The bubbly voice feels almost like an eruption. It raises every hair on Katara’s skin, and sends a wave of helplessness arcing across her body. She immediately bends water from her poach as she spins around. 

“Woah!” For the first time in her life, Katara sees Ty Lee taken off guard. The girl’s in a prison uniform as well, but it’s still light _pink_ , as if the guards didn’t have it in themselves to separate the girl from her color. That doesn’t stop Katara from freezing Ty Lee’s arms, her heart pounding too loud for her to hear anything other than the desperate way her mind screams, _fight!_ She barely even registers Iroh’s gasp. 

“I’m sorry.” Ty Lee looks so genuinely sad. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“I’m not scared!” Katara lies harshly. “I wasn’t!” 

“But the good news is that we’re on the same side now!” Ty Lee looks excited at the prospect, as if Katara’s been waiting to be her friend. As if the girl didn’t have the power to temporarily take away the most important part of Katara’s identity. 

“Katara,” Iroh tries to calm her. “We also released Mai and Ty Lee, who were imprisoned under the palace for turning against Azula - ”

“I know the story.” Katara interrupts him, still wondering why her heart hasn’t stopped beating so hard. She - reluctantly - unfreezes Ty Lee. 

“Thank you so much!” Ty Lee tries to take a step forward, but Katara’s cold look stops her. 

“Ty Lee,” Iroh tries again to assume control of the situation. “It would be best to give Katara some space right now. She is already processing a lot.” 

“Oh yes, of course!” Ty Lee shakes her head vigorously. “Would Mai and I be able to say hello to Zuko? We’ve been really anxious to see him since we heard about the… the lightning.” 

Katara is about to open her mouth to say _absolutely not,_ because she doesn’t trust Ty Lee around any of her friends, not where Katara can’t defend them, but Iroh’s too quick for her. 

“Of course my dear. He’s in his old bedroom.” 

Katara has to bite her lip to avoid reacting. She bites so hard while Ty Lee walks away, though not without another small smile in Katara’s direction, that she tastes blood. She lets Iroh escort her down the hall through another door, which leads to an elaborate tea room. Iroh’s still talking while they sit down on the ground and she accepts the cup of jasmine tea he’s poured for her, but she’s too caught up in her own thoughts to hear anything. 

She finally tunes back in after taking a couple sips. “I hope you know that no one expects you to do anything right now.” Iroh is saying. “You’ve done more than enough, and there’s nothing shameful about letting other people take over so you can - ”

“When you said the other Fire Sages,” Katara interrupts him again, her mind moving too fast for her to wait for a pause in the conversation. “Did you mean Shyu?” 

“Him and the others.” Iroh tilts his head. “Is something the matter?” 

Her grip around the cup tightens. “Which members of the White Lotus have you been speaking to?” 

“After we freed Ba Sing Se, King Bumi and Master Jeong Jeong stayed there to sort things out in the Earth Kingdom. Master Pakku and Master Piando came with me. Would you like to see them?” 

“Doesn’t it strike you as a bit odd,” Katara muses, “That after defeating the Fire Nation in a 100 year war, all the decisions are being made by people in the Fire Nation?” Iroh blinks, before raising his eyebrows. 

“Master Katara, I hope you aren’t worried that we would ever even _dream_ of taking advantage of the situation.” He seems shocked that it would be possible for the thought to even cross her mind. “We are all committed to maintaining this peace.”

“That’s not what I’m saying.” Katara shakes her head and tries to soften her voice, despite the growing ball of anxiety in her stomach. “I know you are. But don’t you think we’re doing something wrong if you _could_ take advantage of this moment if you wanted?” 

Iroh looks unsure of how to respond. 

“I know that you needed to make immediate choices and commands, like sending the letters to tell the troops to stand down and ordering the airships out to rescue people. But releasing prisoners, that’s a big decision, isn’t it?” She puts down her cup and looks Iroh in the eye. “Why are you the one making that?” 

Iroh places his own cup of tea on the table as well. “I didn’t think there would be a conflict of interest, since I’m a member of the White Lotus, and we’ve been planning and preparing for this moment for years.”

“Really?” Katara has to hold in her laughter at the suggestion that the White Lotus knew what they were doing. “If that’s true, then why did Master Pakku almost decide not to teach Aang in the North Pole? Why did Master Jeong Jeong not check in on whether he had a firebending teacher? And where on earth were all of you on the Day of Black Sun? I’m only saying this,” She speeds up when she sees Iroh open his mouth in defense, “Because clearly you weren’t planning every step of this victory. You weren’t even connected to most of it! So why should the White Lotus decide what happens now?” 

“Katara, the plan is - ”

“I thought you called me Master Katara.” She remarks a little cooly. 

“Master Katara.” Iroh purses his lips and looks genuinely apologetic. “I meant no offense. But I promise you that we aren’t making all the decisions right now. Everything is just to prepare for Zuko to take the position of Fire Lord.” 

“But you still decided to release Mai and Ty Lee, who were helping Azula just months ago, and didn’t really ever stop supporting the Fire Nation.” Katara argues. “But what about the prisoners of war, who’re only in jail for fighting the Fire Lord. Have they been released?” 

Iroh shifts into a new position, but he seems just as uncomfortable in it. “Well, like you said, we couldn’t possibly make such a controversial move on our own! Zuko, as Fire Lord, would have to approve the release of people who have been there for a long time. We just… released people who were in prison for a short amount of time.” 

“No.” Katara narrows her eyes. “You released the people you were thinking of when we took control from Ozai and Azula. The waterbenders and earthbenders and resistance fighters just didn’t cross your mind.” 

“Katara, I don’t know why you’re assuming the worst from me.” Iroh’s calm facade can’t entirely hide his expression of hurt. “The Kyoshi warriors are connected to Suki, and Mai and Ty Lee are connected to Zuko. We knew there would be no outcry at the thought of releasing the friends of the Avatar or his teachers.” 

“You said _we_ again. Who are you referring to?” Anger rises in her voice. “The Fire Sages?” 

“Ah.” Understanding alights in Iroh’s eyes and he sits back. “That’s likely what you’re most concerned about.” 

“I’m concerned about everything, but I’m most _confused_ as to why people who blatantly supported Ozai’s regime are allowed to have a say about the _prisoners!”_

“That’s a very good point.” Iroh scratches his chin. “Your attention to politics is truly commendable. I really value your passionate attention to those who have been wronged by this nation.” 

Katara sighs, wondering how many meaningless platitudes Iroh will offer before he gets to the point. 

“But,” He finally continues. “It’s important to recognize that this is a very tense and uncertain situation we’re in.”

“You don’t say,” She mutters. 

“We’re preparing for Zuko to take the throne, but he is laying in bed with a significant injury. Everyone in this world is waiting with baited breath to see if anyone will challenge the Avatar’s declaration of peace.”

“Aang took Ozai’s _bending_.” Katara says. “Would anyone really be stupid enough to do that?” 

“Not right now.” Iroh admits. “But like Zuko mentioned before, there are a lot of Fire Nation nobles who… have benefited from Ozai’s regime. They aren’t necessarily the highest-ranking Generals, but they contributed money and labour to the cause. Many have been promoted with military and aristocratic titles. Now these people, with their many resources, are willing to enter this new world of peace with us, thanks to the Avatar. But if we make many decisions that alienate them… we could be doing more harm than good in the long-run.” 

“Alienate… Ozai’s supporters.” Horror fills Katara at the thought of where this conversation is going. 

“I don’t even know if I’d call them supporters. They simply… followed the tide of the times.” 

That still sounds a lot like a supporter to Katara, but she bites her tongue and lets him continue. 

“They are powerful people who could use their resources to do everything in their power to destabilize Zuko’s reign from the very beginning. They could fund a new, Fire Nation-first resistance group. They could put out plays tainting his reputation. They could aim to undermine the enforcement of his policies. Then he won’t even have the _chance_ to do the important work that we want.” 

“So you’re playing along with the Fire Sages to, what, keep all these Fire Nation nobles happy?” Katara demands. “That’s what you’re saying?” 

“The Fire Sages are an important symbol to the Fire Nation. They are the spiritual figures who are supposed to uphold the will of Agni.”

“And the will of Agni was for the Fire Nation to take over the world?” She scoffs. 

“At this point, many people believe that. But Zuko can, with a lot of work, change this opinion. But to disregard all the Fire Sages, who are not selected but born into their position, would cause much chaos and anger for many people. That could be dangerous if we anger people of the high classes.” 

“Why aren’t we putting these high class Ozai supporters in jail again?” 

“Several significant figures of the regime have surrendered, and we’ve placed them under ‘house’ arrest, so to speak. They can’t leave their assigned palace rooms, or their houses if they’re not in Caldera City, and members of the White Lotus - along with people loyal to me - are guarding them. We could put them in jail, so they’d be with Ozai, but these people have far-reaching networks. They have many mayors and premiers who owe them favors. Those local leaders then have many members of their _own_ communities who owe them favors. They will do everything in their power to turn the tide of public opinion against all of us. But if we take the time now to do things slowly, we can use their resources _for good._ ”

“But _Aang_ is here to protect - ”

“They won’t fight him directly. They’ll nod their heads and smile at him. But behind the scenes, they can come together, and maybe even create a mobilized force to eliminate the Avatar entirely.” 

“That’s…” 

“Unfortunate, I know.” Iroh sighs. “Politics is very unfortunate.” 

“No, I was going to say it’s such bullshit.” Katara glares at him. 

“What?” Iroh’s taken aback. 

“They _are_ going to undermine Aang and Zuko at every turn.” She points a finger at him. “ _You know that._ Even if you try to keep them happy now, they’re going to be angry the minute Zuko tries to do anything to return the power that the Fire Nation took by force. They will never _settle_ for anything, because they don’t _want_ any possibility that leads them to give up power. When Zuko releases the prisoners of war and offers reparations - ”

“Reparations?” Iroh reels back. 

Katara stares at him. “What, you thought we were going to let the Fire Nation _keep_ all those artifacts and riches you stole from other places?” 

“Well to move forward and heal - ”

“It’s stolen property. No one’s going to _heal_ until we have it _back._ ” 

“Have it back…” Iroh scratches his temple.

“I am the only waterbender of my Tribe, General Iroh. We’ve lost most of our Elders to death and prison, even though they’re the ones who held our Tribe’s history and knowledge. The Fire Nation didn’t even let us keep a single one of bending scrolls. If I died while travelling with Aang, our bending would have been completely lost to the world.” She can’t stop the barrage of emotion that’s begun pouring from her. She’s never voiced how _terrifying_ it was, to be the only one left. The person they were all counting on. She doesn’t let Iroh speak when she sees him open his mouth. “We had to sacrifice countless resources on creating weapons, along with feeding and clothing our warriors. This came at the expense of feeding and clothing the rest of the tribe well, including the children, especially because Fire Nation soldiers would come and kill all the game at the beginning of hunting seasons before we had a chance! All while the soldiers took everything we owned, from our animal pelts to weapons carved before my dad was born. So to move forward with the current distribution of wealth wouldn’t be very… _balanced,_ would it?” 

“You… yes you’re right.” Iroh speaks softly when he sees the tears entering her eyes. “I didn’t think of that.” 

“Of course you didn’t, because you’ve spent your time talking to Fire Sages and ex-generals and Master _Pakku,_ who never had to give up _anything_ !” She shakes her head. “Regardless, the point is that they will never, ever let the world return to the way it was before the war, no matter how much you _try_ to make them feel better now.” 

“It will be much harder if we alienate them right away,” Iroh sighs.

“Ending a 100 year war was hard too. You could say that it might have been _easier_ for our people to surrender and live an awful life under the Fire Nation. We’d lose everything, but maybe we’d be alive, which is _more_ than my mother, _more_ than the men who fought and died.” She glares. “But we didn’t. We didn’t because we knew we deserved our justice.” 

Iroh sighs and looks down. “You speak well Master Katara. You do your Tribe much credit. But that still doesn’t change our reality.”

“Don’t you see what you’re saying?” Katara asks. “You want Zuko to take the throne, but do nothing differently? How on earth is that… peace?” 

“That’s not what I’m saying.” Frustration finally enters Iroh’s voice. “The war will be over. Now Zuko can begin transitioning the nation’s economy and culture. He can build relationships with other nations by promising reparations for years down the line. He can win the favor of villages, while acquiring the support of influential families who have also lost sons and daughters in the army. So when people try to hunt Zuko down, he will not just have the public support, but also _powerful_ supporters to fight back. Isn’t that better than losing everything we’ve gained right away by moving too quickly?”

“And where do the prisoners fit into all of this?” 

“Prisoners?” 

“Yes. Political prisoners from the Earth Kingdom and Water Tribes. Do you plan to just keep them in the dungeons?” 

“Well,” Iroh crosses his arms. “I imagine we’ll have to hold lots of negotiations on what happens to them.” 

Katara crosses her own arms to mirror his stance. “But they were imprisoned without a fair trial. That means you can’t _keep them_ in there and expect them to wait for you to sort out your bureaucracy _._ It wouldn’t be right!”

Her words finally silence him. He takes his cup from the table and heats it with his bending. His few sips return a peaceful expression to his face. She wishes it could be that easy for her. 

“I feel we are at odds on whether to choose a path of pragmatism or a path of righteousness.” He finally speaks again. 

“Or,” Katara raises her eyebrows, “You could call it a path of excessive compliance and a path of morality.” 

Iroh inclines his head. “That’s not untrue.” 

While she disagrees with him on several things, she can acknowledge it’s unlikely the two of them will reach an agreement on the topic, even if they talked for several more hours. Contrary to others’ opinions, Katara can be patient, but she has no desire to make the attempt right now. Especially not when it involves other people. 

“Well, the point is that it can’t be your decision or my decision anymore.” Katara finally pulls herself to her feet, signalling an end to this conversation. “It’s the Avatar’s.” 

***

Opening the door of Zuko’s room to see her friends all laughing is like stepping back into a circle of safety from the rest of the world. To her relief, Zuko hasn’t tried to move himself off the bed she placed him in, but he does look stifled with Sokka and Toph nestled much too close on either side of him. The two lean over his body every couple moments to make some comment to each other and laugh wildly. Mai is reclined on the chair beside the bed, with her legs sprawled out, arms crossed and a bored expression on her face. She doesn’t react to Ty Lee, who’s sitting - or bouncing - on the arm of the chair, leaning over with vigorous nods before falling back again. Ty Lee’s also almost a mirror of Aang, who’s sitting cross-legged on a tall three legged stool on the other side of Zuko’s bed, but also rising into the air every couple seconds when he gets excited. Suki’s the only one missing, though Katara imagines the girl is busy reuniting with her warriors. 

If Iroh wasn’t behind her, she would have been tempted to just slip in between all of them, without a word, and simply bask in the warmth of their affection. 

“No!” Aang exclaims, and almost everyone bursts into another round of laughter, even though Zuko crosses his arms. “Little Zuko tried to put on _plays_?” 

“Yup!” Ty Lee giggles. “He was very serious about it all. He made us all wear costumes and he’d get angry if we hadn’t memorized the lines, even though he knew the play by heart! Wasn’t it _adorable_ Mai?” 

Mai simply raises her eyebrows at her friend, without bothering to mask her irritation. 

“Mai did think it was adorable.” Ty Lee still informs the rest of them. 

“Man.” Sokka slings an arm around Zuko’s shoulder. “Who knew our gloomy little Fire Prince had such an artsy side?”

“I’m not gloomy.” Zuko scowls. “I’m just focused.”

“It doesn’t surprise me at all.” Toph remarks smugly. “I knew he was this dramatic for a reason.” 

“It’s true.” Iroh speaks up behind Katara, finally directing everyone’s attention to them. “He used to send me all these letters, talking about how difficult it was to put on _Love Amongst the Dragons_ without _serious_ actors.” Something in her chest warms at the information, which she tucks away in the back of her mind for the future. 

“Hey Uncle Iroh! Hey Katara!” Aang waves. “We’ve been meeting Zuko’s friends!” 

“Well, we have met them before.” Katara reminds them dryly. Ty Lee looks embarrassed, but Mai seems unfazed at the reminder of how she tried to kill them. 

“Yeah, but not properly!” Aang argues. Instead of responding, Katara walks past all of them and pulls Sokka off the bed, ignoring his protests, and sits down in his place so she can lift Zuko’s blanket a bit to check his scar. Toph, the only other person who can see the mangled flesh, stiffens. 

“Has your chest been hurting again?” Katara asks him with a no-nonsense tone, ignoring the various looks she gets from everyone, which range from surprise to confusion to amusement. 

Zuko flushes red and doesn’t meet her eye. “It’s fine.” 

“Hmm.” Katara’s not convinced. “We should do another healing session soon.” 

“Let him breathe a bit Katara, I’m sure he’s fine.” Sokka lays across the bottom area of the huge bed, while Iroh pulls another chair closer to the group and settles into it. “You’ve fussed over him enough already.” 

“I’m not fussing.” She almost snaps. “And you’re not out of the woods either Sokka, I still need to heal your leg.” 

“You like fixing people up, don’t you?” Mai remarks with half lidded eyes.

Katara’s not entirely sure entirely what the girl is insinuating, but she doesn’t like it. Before she has a chance to say anything though, Toph speaks up instead. 

“Sugar Queen would do anything for her friends.” Katara’s surprised by the steely defensiveness in Toph’s voice. 

“That kind of loyalty is admirable.” Iroh finally speaks up, and Katara’s annoyed he still wants to compliment her, given the intense conversation they had and are going to have with the others. It feels too much like buttering her up so she’ll agree with him later. 

She’s not someone who’s won over that easily. 

“It’s good to know you all appreciate her.” Mai says quietly, in a way that’s surprisingly genuine. 

An odd sort of silence falls over the room, and Katara’s not entirely sure why Zuko won’t look at her or anyone else, but Aang immediately fills the awkwardness. “Katara, did you know that Ty Lee can juggle _fifteen_ pins all at once?” 

“Awww, you’re too sweet!” Ty Lee giggles, but there’s some lingering tension in her laughter as she looks at her friend. Mai blows a piece of hair off her eyes.”

Aang either doesn’t seem to realize the discomfort, or just ignores it, as he beams. “Well, I think Zuko was lucky to grow up with a friend as nice as you.” 

“Ty Lee was always more of Azula’s friend.” Zuko mentions stiffly. 

“Yeah.” Mai says with a cool stare. “But she was still willing to give that up to make sure I didn’t die.” 

Ty Lee winces and Zuko looks chastised. “I’m really sorry Mai. I should have tried to - ”

“It’s whatever.” Mai examines her nails. 

“No, I’m really grateful.” 

“ _We’re_ really grateful - ” Sokka adds, but Zuko ignores him. 

“ - for what you did to save us at the Boiling Rock.” 

“Yeah, well, next time date someone you like enough not to abandon in prison.” 

Katara freezes, and all the pieces suddenly fall into place. When talking about the Boiling Rock, Zuko only said that Mai sided with him instead of Azula, which had struck Katara as surprising at the time because she thought the girl was closer to his sister, but it all makes sense now, because _Mai_ was his _girlfriend._ That’s why they’d been acting so weird when Katara sat beside him - she tries to move away from Zuko now, but there isn’t much room on her end of the bed, and she curses the fact that even though they just ended a 100 year war, she has to worry about things like _girlfriends_ and _boyfriends_ and being the middle of it all. 

Toph straightens as well. “Wait… _you’re_ the Fire Nation girlfriend Zuko told me about?” 

“Ex-girlfriend.” Mai and Zuko say in unison, but Mai still directs a scowl in his direction. 

“No need to sound too excited about it.” She mutters. 

“I wasn’t excited,” Zuko defends himself with wide eyes. “I was just trying to be clear.” 

“You told Toph you had a girlfriend?” Aang crosses his arms and pouts. “You didn’t tell _me._ ” Zuko directs an incredulous look at him. 

“It was my job to train you, not gossip about my love life!” 

“Still.” Aang lowers his head and peeks at Zuko and Katara from under his eyelashes. “If I’d known, I would’ve gone to you for love advice.” 

A reminder of Aang’s unfortunate crush on her is another thing that Katara _really_ does not need right now. 

“Don’t.” Mai snorts. 

“He told _me_.” Sokka feels the need to say. “Because we’re buddies.” 

“Zuko and I are buddies.” Aang mumbles. 

“But he likes me better than both of you.” Toph mentions while holding unto Zuko’s arm tighter, though Zuko only looks more stressed when Sokka and Aang both open their mouths to argue. 

“Don’t worry Zuko.” Ty Lee consoles him, though Katara can see from her small looks that the girl is trying to direct the conversation away from Mai. “We can work on your romance skills so you’ll be a much better boyfriend for your next partner!” 

“I’m a little two occupied to date.” Zuko says through clenched teeth. 

“But the Kyoshi Warriors have great love advice, so we can all work together!” Ty Lee argues. “Love is important! It makes you strong, and you need strength when you’re the Fire Lord!” 

“She is right, nephew. The right partner makes all the difference.” Iroh adds. 

“And the right love story could be what the world needs for peace…” Sokka ignores Zuko’s glare with a devious smile and spreads his arms to add a dramatic flourish. “Imagine if you fell in love with someone _nobody expected!_ Someone from across the world, who didn’t care that your love would have once been _forbidden -_ ”

Katara finally loses her last bit of patience. 

“We all have much more important things to discuss than Zuko’s love life!” Katara gets up from the bed. “General Iroh and I have something very important to talk about, _especially_ with Zuko and Aang.” She directs a look at Mai, who understands and nods. 

“Yeah, we’ll leave.” She grabs Ty Lee and pulls the both of them out of the chair. “Just give me a heads-up if you’re gonna be throwing my dad in jail.” 

No one’s entirely sure how to respond to that, but Katara shakes off any doubts and begins to explain her argument with Iroh to the others. 

***

“You want me to pardon members of my father’s council?” Zuko demands. “Are you insane?” 

“Zuko.” Iroh explains, “I know it’s hard to understand, but this will be the best option for your rule.” 

“So let me get this straight.” Sokka shakes his head and manages to look more commanding as he sits up tall, even though he’s still on the bed. “Our Tribe’s warriors are in jail, while these ruthless assholes still get to sleep on king-sized beds?” 

“They’ve surrendered and are under house arrest.” Iroh says. “They’ve been handcuffed and members of the White Lotus are guarding them to ensure they don’t go anywhere, unless we give them permission to return to their homes.” 

“Their mansions you mean.” Sokka mutters. 

“Uncle Iroh’s not entirely wrong.” Toph says quietly. “If someone tried to arrest my dad, it wouldn’t last very long. He’d easily be able to make some deals with the guards and find the right people to blackmail. Trust me, it’s how rich people work. It’s better to find a way to work with them rather than fight them.”

“That’s easy for you to say.” Katara pauses her pacing. “Laying low offered you some means of protection.”

“Easy?” Toph’s voice becomes icy. 

Katara realizes how the girl interpreted her words. “No, easy wasn’t what I meant to say. My point is that you could protect yourself at home by laying low and going along with what people said. But submitting to people who did these things… that won’t help fix the situation for people like Sokka and I. It will only hurt our Tribe. There is _no_ long lasting protection for us if we let people who waged war continue to live their lives without punishment.”

“My parents hurt me too.” Toph’s voice becomes small. “Things weren’t okay because I avoided them. I had to become something I hated.” 

“Oh Toph...” Katara’s heart breaks, “I know, I’m just trying to say that our situations are completely _different._ ”

“Katara knows you’ve suffered Toph.” Sokka tries to place a hand on the girl’s foot but she knocks his hand away. 

“That’s not what it sounds like.” Toph crosses her arms. 

“Toph, of course I care about your life,” Katara says. “But I’m just saying you’re not understanding this particular issue. They’re rich _because_ of us and we want that money back in our community.” 

“Perhaps we should have this discussion when we’re all calmer.” Iroh suggests. 

“No!” Katara forgets about Toph and whirls around. “You can’t back out of this now!” 

“She’s right Uncle.” Zuko looks at him. “This isn’t something we’re all going to care about less in a day or two.” He sighs and speaks as if his thoughts are far away. “I just don’t understand how you can ask everyone to… be okay with this idea. Letting these men keep some of their riches, and even power. It… doesn’t sound like what you taught me.” Iroh recoils back, looking hurt. 

“Zuko, I’m saying this because their power _can become_ your power.” 

“It’s not about Zuko though!” Sokka snaps. “It doesn’t matter that he’s our friend - he can only be Fire Lord if he, you know, _actually fixes things!_ If he can’t do that, then - ”

“I can.” Zuko looks at Sokka earnestly, but his resolve immediately begins crumbling. “I mean… I want to. I… I might make mistakes but… I have to _try_.” 

“Good then.” Sokka shifts and glares at his ground. “Because my dad and our men didn’t fight for years and years away from home just so… just so…” 

Iroh sighs and looks to the side. That’s enough to push Sokka to finish the sentence he wants to say. 

“Just so a Fire Nation General can get us to forgive all of his friends!” 

“Sokka, Uncle is on our side!” Zuko responds with some anger. “It’s not helpful to - ”

“To what, say who he actually is!” Sokka demands. “That was his occupation, wasn’t it?” 

“Zuko, you don’t need to defend me.” Iroh only just seems to realize he could drive a wedge between Zuko and his new friends, which is clearly the last thing he wants.

“I’m not defending you!” Zuko growls, “But I don’t want people to act like you’re just a General, which you… technically are… argh!” He throws his hands in the air. “This is all so confusing!” 

“It doesn’t have to be.” Katara is tired of talking in circles. “It’s Aang’s decision. _He’s_ the Avatar.” 

Everyone turns to said boy, who’s now sitting on a coach beside the window and staring out at the sky. 

Katara clears her throat and speaks a little more sharply. “Aang?” 

He still doesn’t respond. Instead, he takes a deep breath and slowly rises from his seat. He looks much older, but also not old enough, but Katara can’t bear to consider the possibility that he won’t be able to fix this, because he’s _supposed to._

But instead he says, “I think you’re misunderstanding my role, Katara.” 

Her blood freezes. “You’re kidding me. You’re actually kidding me.” 

“Don’t misunderstand me.” He shakes his head, “I believe - ”

“What does it matter what you’re going to _believe_ if you’re not going to stand for it!” 

Silence falls over the room. Katara realizes that she’s never raised her voice this loud with Aang. In a single moment, his face falls apart and comes back together again. 

“Katara.” Sokka says quietly. “I think you should hear him out.” 

She releases a breath and buries her head in his hands, not wanting to face his answer, or her own guilt. Aang likely sees that as the best he’s going to get and continues. 

“As the Avatar, it’s my duty to maintain balance.” Aang speaks clearly and confidently. “But justice… that’s a whole other thing.” 

“What’s the difference?” Katara asks dully. “How on earth can balance exist without justice?”

“It means that maybe Ozai and all these Generals and Councilmen and Fire Sages deserve to go to prison. Maybe they deserve the worst possible punishment in the world. But the punishment is not my decision. What is my concern is the lives of the people who are suffering. I have to protect them, so that the world is a place where they can _all_ live in harmony.” Aang turns to Iroh with firm eyes. “I say that the Fire Nation has to release the prisoners of war, as soon as possible. Those people deserve to return to their homes and families.” 

Iroh’s eyes widen, but he slowly nods. 

Aang looks at Zuko. “I know the Fire Nation has many, many stolen goods right now. Those need to be returned as well.”

Zuko nods as well. “Many of these things are with different nobles and army officers across the Fire Nation.” 

“How you get them back… that’s your decision.” Aang shrugs. “Now, whether you want to punish the people who fought this war… from Ozai to his Generals to everyone else… that’s not something I should be the one to decide. As Sokka and Katara have shown, I imagine the Water Tribes and the Earth Kingdom will have their opinions on it all. But whatever conversations the nations wish to have… I’ll be the mediator between them.” 

Aang raises his chin, and Katara knows she should be proud of him finding such clarity in his position. She should be glad he’s moving forward on the path he believes in. But she’s just _exhausted_ from everything. She wants, so desperately, for Aang to just stand up and promise them he’s going to fix it all. 

She wants to believe it can be that easy, like she thought when they first found him in the ice and realized who he was. 

“The prisoners of war then.” Katara turns to Zuko instead, because looking at Aang is too hard. “You’ll release them.” 

“They shouldn’t be released by Fire Nation guards.” The bedridden boy says, already deep in thought. “I imagine they’ve already seen enough of the people imprisoning them. They’ll feel more comfortable with people from their own nations. We can prepare palace rooms for them to share in the meantime.”

Sokka nods and lifts himself to his feet. “I’ll go find Suki and the Kyoshi Warriors. I’m sure they’ll be the best people to speak with the rest of the Earth Kingdom prisoners.”

“Sokka,” Katara stops him. “Don’t you want to also meet… meet the Water Tribe prisoners?” Her brother examines the floor for a couple moments before shaking his head. “I don’t think I can face them yet, Katara. Besides,” He looks at her with no small amount of pride in his eyes. “Most of them will be the captured waterbenders. They’ll _want_ to meet you.” 

“Wait.” Zuko doesn’t seem sure of what to do with his hands, so he grips his blanket. “Are you sure you want to go Katara? This is obviously an emotional thing… maybe you could wait for your dad and his men to join - ”

Something inside her tries to soften from his concern. But she’s already begun freezing her heart to prepare for what she’s going to see when she meets many of her people again. “You don’t need to worry about me.” She pauses for a moment. “But don’t even think of getting out of bed before I’m back.” 

Zuko looks like he wants to argue, but he still nods. 

Katara inhales, but she doesn’t let the breath go when she turns to Iroh.

“Take me.” She tells him. “Take me to the waterbenders.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I want to say thank you to flickersoffiction on ao3 for the ideas about how Aang's role is to bring balance to the world, but that does not necessarily mean it is his place to decide what justice is/what punishment people deserve. She also has the most amazing thoughts about ATLA - we talked a lot about how the White Lotus deserves a good dragging for being pretty useless a lot of the time. Thank you also to alchemickatara on ao3/bhatoora on tumblr for letting me rant about all my ideas for this chapter and giving me the space to figure out what I wanted to do with it - she emotionally supported me through this entire process! 
> 
> This was definitely a big chapter for me to finish, because it took time for me to sort out my thoughts on the many emotions/opinions of the different characters. I know that the way I wrote Iroh might surprise people because he's usually characterized in fic as a wise, loveable uncle, which he really is, but he's also a tactician who spends a lot of ATLA waiting for the "right opportunity" to achieve his different goals (like by letting Zuko attack various places to find the Avatar in season 1), and he is an ex-general who occupies a very privileged place in the Fire Nation. While he cares about peace and condemns the Fire Nation in the show, he started taking this journey very late in his life and he has never had a reason to think very deeply about what the other nations actually want and need. A lot of the political conflict in this chapter is inspired by the upsetting fact that when many dictatorships and autocracies transition into democracies/other systems, members of the old autocratic regimes are pardoned (despite their many human rights abuses) to facilitate the transition. This chapter is also the first step of me exploring the fact that decolonization and change does not rely on replacing one person in power - there's an entire system behind that person that needs to be dismantled. I think the characters have reacted and will react to this reality in different ways, based on how they have been shaped by their diverse personal experiences, challenges, and privileges, and I do want to represent all of it with empathy.
> 
> Next chapter will feature Katara meeting Water Tribe prisoners and having some very important/challenging conversations with Aang - it should be up sometime in mid-January! I'm entering my last semester of undergrad, which will get busy at times, so until April I'll likely be updating 1 - 2 times a month. 
> 
> I hope you all have a wonderful start to 2021 - hopefully it will be kinder than 2020 <3


	3. meetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katara meets the waterbenders imprisoned underneath the Fire Nation palace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Discussion of sexual violence in prisons and children born from that.

Her heart hurts as she follows Iroh down into the dungeons. The air is so cold it burns her face, while the near darkness, only held at bay with the light of a few torches along the wall, crawls across her skin as if trying to replace it. 

She’s been in plenty of dungeons before, but they’ve never felt as permanent as this one does right now. After all, she’d only been passing through the other ones, without having to think about the horror of never being able to leave. It feels different now, to think of her people trapped here for decades, especially because if the cards of the universe had fallen even just a step to the left, she might have been here with them too. 

Now, there’s a voice inside her crying and begging to leave. It tells her, _‘this is the place where hope comes to die.’_

_‘Nothing could take my hope away from me.’_ She tries to respond. But is that true? Hope has always been a sign of her strength. While Katara knows she’s strong, she’s only now beginning to realize that maybe she’s just been lucky. Lucky because it could have been so, so much worse.

The thought of a life without hope is so terrifying she feels the pain of it like a knife in her stomach. 

“Master Katara…” Iroh slows his pace when he hears her begin to sniffle, so he can start walking beside her. “Are you sure - ”

“Stop.” Despite the tears she has to wipe away, she keeps her voice sharp. “Don’t… don’t try to convince me out of this.” 

“I wasn’t going to.” He says gently. “I only wanted to say, perhaps you might wish to bring someone with you. I’m sure even Master Toph or Suki would be happy to offer support, if you don’t want to wait for your father and his warriors.” 

The truth is that she doesn’t want to think too hard about why she’s desperate to do this on her own. So much so that she pushed Sokka away when he started second guessing letting her go by herself, after she healed his leg and they waited for Iroh to finish providing directions to several servants. 

_‘I can’t face them.” Sokka told her. “They’ll look at me as if I’m dad, and that’ll hurt, because I’ll feel like I failed them as a Chief. That’s… too much.” He shook his head. “But I was wrong to assume you wouldn’t struggle the same way. I don’t want you to go through this if it’ll make you angry at yourself.”_

_“You don’t need to worry Sokka.” She kept examining his leg, partially to make sure she healed it right and partially to avoid his eyes. “It’s likely going to take dad some more time to travel here, and it makes sense for one of us to meet our people in his place.”_

_“We can wait for dad though. Someone else can release the prisoners now and take them to their rooms, and in a few days we’ll visit with the others - ”_

_“No!” She narrowed her eyes. “If they’ve heard the war is over, they must be so confused and scared about what’s going to happen to them. We_ are _leaders and we have to make sure they’re okay. I’m perfectly capable of playing that part.”_

_“I just… feel there’s something you’re not telling me.” Sokka’s shoulders sagged. “Uncle Iroh said you barely slept while healing Zuko, and now that you have a minute to rest, you’re going off to be a hero again instead.”_

_“This is hardly being a hero.” Katara scoffed. “They never should have been put in a jail in the first place, and I’m just going to open the door.”_

_“Yeah, but you have this_ obsession _with always being the one to fix things. Katara,” His face became more serious than she’d seen him in a long time. “You don’t have to prove anything to anyone. Not me or dad or any of our people.”_

Her protests likely did little to soothe his worries, but at least he didn’t try to stop them when Iroh was ready to take her underground. 

_‘I’m not trying to prove anything.’_ She thinks now. _‘And I’m not as self-obsessed as he thinks.”_

These waterbenders would have been her teachers, if they’d been allowed to stay in the tribe. If Katara does have the desire to _belong_ to them as a student - maybe even _claim_ them - then it’s just about returning the world to how it should have been. There’s hardly anything heroic in wishing for normalcy, no matter how foreign the concept has become. 

She forgets that Iroh is watching her curiously as they walk, likely waiting for some sort of response to his words. When he realizes that she has nothing to say, he nods his head and accepts her silence as they descend deeper into the darkness. 

***

The waterbenders have an entire section of the prison dedicated to them. Their cells are arranged in a large, circular formation, with the area at the center providing space for collective gatherings, though Katara can guess from her companion’s face that the Fire Nation guards rarely allowed for that. Each cell has a solid metal door, hindering her from seeing anyone inside. When Katara asks Iroh about the cages she remembers Hama describing, he explains that those were for the least obedient prisoners who wouldn’t stop trying to fight back. For some reason, there hasn’t been a need for them among the Water Tribe prisoners for many years. 

“When was the last time any of them felt sunlight?” Katara whispers. 

Iroh, thankfully, chooses to provide her honesty. “The guards decide when to take them out at random, to a place outside that the palace sewage pours into, so it’s not uncommon for many months to pass by before the prisoners have a chance to feel any fresh air.” 

“Is it dark in their prison cells?” She asks. 

“Each one has a light source encased in crystal rock to ensure the prisoners can’t… do anything with it.” Iroh leads them to the front of a specific cell, near the entrance way they passed through. 

“This is likely where you’ll want me to leave you.” He turns to her with heavy eyes and hands her the set of keys, the instructions of which he already detailed when they first started walking down. “I’ve been told that the woman in this cell has become a leader for the rest of the Water Tribe prisoners over the years, and takes responsibility for their well-being here. She’s the one who has, quite frequently, convinced the guards to improve everyone’s situation in small ways, like extra blankets or more visits outside. You’ll likely want to work with her to explain the situation to everyone else.” 

He gestures to the passage they travelled down. “I’ll send Master Pakku and some other people from the Earth Kingdom to wait for you nearby on this path, so you can take the time you need to gather everyone with some privacy.” 

“Thank you Master Iroh.” She surprises both of them by dropping the _‘General’_ honorific. Perhaps it’s the fact that despite everything, his presence does provide her some amount of comfort as she shivers in anticipation. Inside her, there is even a small temptation to ask him to stay, though she has enough sense to stifle that urge. 

His eyes do warm in response as he bows. “I’m honored to help dear girl. I know this will be hard… but I hope righting these wrongs will bring all of you peace.” 

Once he leaves, though not without a forlorn look over his shoulder, it takes her several minutes to gather her nerves. It’s rather selfish and trivial to worry about whether this woman will like Katara, when their suffering is so much more important to think about, but the thoughts swim in her head nonetheless. 

When she finally unlocks and pulls open the metal door, the sight causes her to stumble. 

There is indeed a woman in a faded red jumpsuit, which has clearly been unwashed for some time, sitting on a bed that’s barely more than a cot. But there’s also a girl, likely younger than eight, nestled between the woman’s two outstretched legs in similar clothing that, at least, looks slightly more clean. The woman’s own hair is matted and unkempt, but she brushes the child’s rich strands with a small red comb. 

It’s obvious from the tensing of the woman’s shoulders that she’s heard the squeal of the metal and the sound of Katara’s first steps, but she refuses to acknowledge another presence in the cell. It’s the young girl who twists around first to look at Katara, who immediately flinches. 

Even though the dim light in the cell only casts a half-hearted glow over everything, Katara can see that despite her dark skin and thick brown hair, the girl’s eyes are pure gold.

“Nuvua…” The girl shakes the older woman’s arm. “Why does she look like us?” 

Katara refuses to let go of her breath, since she’s not sure if she’ll be able to find it again afterwards. Her hands begin to shake when the woman finally turns herself and parts her lips in surprise. Neither of them make a sound at each other’s shock. 

The girl is the first to lose her patience. 

“Are you here to hide with us?” She squeaks with wide eyes. 

“Hide…?” Katara tilts her head. 

“From the war.” The girl looks back up at Nuvua for an answer when Katara has none. “Is she?” 

“Give her a chance to respond, Tapeesa.” The woman smoothes back the girl’s hair, but her eyes grow harder and their message to Katara clear. _Play along._

“Oh…” Katara swallows and takes another small step forward, “No, I’m here to tell you that… you don’t have to hide anymore.”

Nuvua releases the smallest gasp. 

“The war is over. I’m here to…”

The girl seems confused when Nuvua almost falls forward against her. 

“… take you home.” Katara finishes, her heart unsure whether to rise or fall when she watches Nuvua wrap her arms around Tapeesa’s little body so tightly that the girl struggles to wriggle out. 

“Did my parents send you?” Tapeesa asks when Nuvua finally releases her, but she doesn’t wait for a response. “My dad’s a Fire Nation soldier. My mother left us to help him fight, but she wanted me to hide with everyone else. They’re here for me now, aren’t they?” 

For a moment, Katara wants to believe the girl. Then Nuvua lifts her head, and the pained expression on her face tells Katara all she needs to know. 

“You _have_ to know him!” Tapeesa grows distressed at the silence in the room. 

Katara, unable to bear the thought of failing the girl, almost lies, but she has enough sense to know it’s not her place. Thankfully, Nuvua pulls Tapeesa into another hug. 

“Love, I told you that your father and mother likely travelled far from here. It wouldn’t be possible for this girl to have met them if the war only just ended, right?”

“Why not?” Tapeesa snaps.

The woman’s face remains clear, but Katara can see the rise and fall of a heavy sigh in her chest. “If they’re able, they’ll come to us.” She taps the girl’s nose when Tapeesa looks down with a quivering chin. “You know your mother is the best at hiding - she’ll be able to find us, but we wouldn’t be able to find her.” 

“She wouldn’t just leave me.” The girl whispers. 

“No.” Nuvua agrees. “No, she wouldn’t ever make the choice to do that.” The woman refocuses her attention on Katara. 

“You say the war is over. But what does that mean for us?” 

Katara keeps Tapeesa’s reactions in the corner of her eye while she tries to find a balanced response. “You’ll all be provided rooms in the Fire Lord’s Palace until preparations are made for your journey home.” 

“The Palace?” Nuvua raises her eyebrows in disbelief, and Katara can’t help but notice the many marks and wrinkles on her face, along with her greying hair, even though the woman can’t be much older than Katara’s father. “So many people have slept on those beds. I can’t imagine that they would want us on them now.”

“It doesn’t matter what those people might want. We’re not letting you live in this place any longer.” Katara raises the keys in her hand. “I was told you’ve been a leader for everyone else here. It would be better for both of us to work together to help move the others out. I know this… might be a lot for everyone to process.” 

“To say the least.” Nuvua wrings her hands. “Perhaps you and I should talk a bit further so I can understand the situation. If you have the keys, you can let me take Tapeesa to another woman’s cell, so the two of us discuss things here.” 

“Why?” Tapeesa crosses her arms, her eyes sparking. “I want to hear!” 

“You will, my love.” Despite everything, Nuvua infuses her words with warmth for the girl. Katara recognizes that type of gentleness - it’s meant to hold the reality at bay, away from the eyes of someone much more innocent. “But there are many complicated details to sort out. They’ll only confuse and bore you.”

Tapeesa is still distrustful. “You’ll tell me if it’s about my parents?” 

“Of course.” 

Katara wishes she could step forward and press a kiss to the young girl’s forehead, the way Nuvua does right now, but for once, she stays rooted to the spot and waits. 

*** 

She’s careful to keep her distance after she opens the door to the neighbouring cell, letting Nuvua explain the very basics of the situation to the prisoner she leaves Tapeesa with. When they return to Nuvua’s cell, the woman gestures for Katara to join her on the cot. 

“Her mother…” Katara can’t help but ask once they both settle down, even though she can’t force the rest of the question out. 

“Died of an infection a few days after childbirth.” Despite the metal preventing any sounds from travelling between the walls, Nuvua is careful to keep the truth limited to hushed whispers. 

“There must have been ways to save her.” Katara says, more to herself than the other woman. 

“Of course there were.” Nuvua scoffs. “She wasn’t the first prisoner to die like this. Tapeesa’s just the only child who’s survived.” The woman examines her rough hands. “Even though this is the last place for a child to be, and I hate the horrors she’s grown up with, she’s been our little miracle amid the… hopelessness.” 

Katara swallows. “You’ve clearly fought so hard to take care of her.” 

“The guards knew we would never risk fighting back when they threatened to take Tapeesa away. We obviously would have let them if we thought Tapeesa would have the chance to grow up somewhere better. But she’s a half-Water Tribe, bastard child. We couldn’t trust that she wouldn’t end up someplace… even worse.” Nuvua rubs her face and shakes the thought out of her mind. “At least here we can try to protect her. Several of the guards are actually rather fond of her. A few of them are less cruel to prisoners when she’s with them, though others… take advantage of our hesitance to retaliate.” 

Katara watches a bug scuttle across the ground. She’s glad to know that Nuvua isn’t holding back the truth from her, even though it’s painful to hear. “Where’s her father?” 

Nuvua’s lips twist into a hard line. “He was a guard who had his fun here. He’s likely having his fun elsewhere now.” 

Determination arcs through Katara’s body, seizing on an opportunity to finally _do_ something. “Not anymore.” She almost growls. “We’ll make sure he pays.” 

Nuvua looks away to stare at the bug, which is now moving across the wall. “That would be hard, considering none of us even remember his face. There was nothing special about him. He wasn’t even exceptionally cruel, in comparison to the rest.” 

“We’ll round up every guard in the Fire Nation we have to.” Katara clenches her fists. “There _will_ be a way.” 

“I won’t try to take that thought away from you if it provides some comfort.” Nuvua’s eyes cloud over, and suddenly she’s looking at something Katara can’t touch. “We all have a complicated relationship with reality in here.” 

Katara senses that Nuvua wants to continue, and after a few moments of silence, she does. 

“Tapeesa grew up liking stories, especially romantic ones, so she came up with this one before even asking any of us about her parents. We all just kept playing along.” Nuvua smiles bitterly. “Don’t be mistaken - she’s seen the guards be cruel to us. Experienced cruelty herself. But she pretends we’re all just hiding from the _real_ bad things happening out there in the war. I think… her mind just doesn’t want to see it.” 

“She’s so brave.” A million possible ways to fix the situation fly through Katara’s brain. 

But there’s still nothing. 

“We’ve all created some sort of pretty place in our head.” Nuvua almost laughs. 

“What’s your pretty place?” Katara asks softly. 

That draws a sad smile out of the woman, who lays a hand on Katara’s. The touch sends a shiver through her body. There are so many moments stored inside that touch - ones that Katara’s lived, and ones she’s never had the chance to.

“Snow.” Nuvua says, and her smile grows wider. “When I close my eyes, the world isn’t dark, but entirely white.” 

Katara moves closer to wrap both of her hands around Nuvua’s. Beneath the sagging flesh, the woman’s grip is strong. She continues speaking as if in a trance. 

“Down here, we only hear whispers from the guards. We knew that Ozai was going to end the war with Sozin’s Comet, and that this would be the Avatar’s last chance to stop him. If he succeeded, then the world would burn, and it would be the last time snow ever touched the ground. So I imagined it as hard as I could, hoping that would do something to save it.” Nuvua clears her throat and shakes her head, her eyes returning to the present moment. “Then all the guards disappeared yesterday, and we knew either the best thing had happened or the worst.” 

“It was the best.” Katara whispers. 

“Everyone’s been so scared, but - ” Nuvua suddenly trails off. “Your eyes… you have Kya’s eyes.” 

“You...” Katara inches forward without realizing. “You knew my mother?” 

The woman flinches. “Knew? Does that mean… Kya is…” 

Katara can tell why Nuvua doesn’t want to say _‘dead_. _'_ The word is already lingering all around them down here. They don’t want to call out to it - that would be like asking it to come closer. 

“In a Fire Nation raid, when I was young.” She explains instead. 

“Oh…” The woman nods her head. “The life of a random Water Tribe woman, even the wife of a Chief, would hardly be important enough to reach the mouths of people down here. They wouldn’t have cared that Kya was a close friend of mine.” 

“She was?” Katara’s heart swells for a few moments before it breaks from the pain on the woman’s face. 

“You know, whenever another one of our people joined us, I felt a moment of relief before I felt pain.” She says. “Because at least they were alive, even though that isn’t worth much once they come here.”

Nuvua reaches forward to gently touch Katara’s cheek, and Katara automatically lifts a hand to mirror the gesture on the woman’s own face. There's no need for either of them to ask permission. 

While looking deeply at Nuvua, Katara remembers something her mother once said - that every person from the Water Tribes carries a piece of the sea in their eyes. She wonders if, down here, they had to look at each other to remember what the water felt like. 

“You’re Kya’s daughter… you’re Katara.” 

She barely has a chance to nod before the woman envelops Katara in a hug. Her heart aches. It isn’t used to feeling so full with this kind of love, that can only travel from an older woman to a young girl. It’s a love that apologizes for the world, while also providing comfort from it. Katara realizes that Nuvua is stronger than anyone she’s known, for being able to love in a way that offers hope, when she’s had so little reason to believe in it. 

It reminds her a little of Aang. 

“I held you as a baby you know.” Nuvua whispers. “You were always so hard to contain. You ran so fast when anyone else tried to grab you, but you always sat so sweetly in my arms.” 

Tears stream down Katara’s face. “You’re going to go home.” She says desperately. “You’re going to be safe now.” 

“We heard about the Avatar.” Is all Nuvua offers in response. “From down here in the dark, he wasn’t any less of a story than when he was gone from the world. Just like this all feels too much like a story.” 

“I promise he’s real.” Katara grasps her as tight as she can, not wanting Nuvua’s mind to leave again, away from the present moment, away from her. “We… we trained him. Several of us. He defeated Ozai and _it’s over._ ”

“I can believe that the war is over, but it’s harder to believe that means we can leave. Most of us stopped hoping for that a long, long time ago. My only goal was to make things less painful for everyone else. You know,” Nuvua muses, “It’s been so long since I’ve spent a full day above ground that I’m scared the sun will melt me down.” 

Katara isn’t sure what to say, so she offers the only thought that comes to mind. “You’ll still have the moon.” 

“Yes.” She finally hears a smile in Nuvua’s voice again. 

“When was the last time you were able to bend?” 

“A long time. A long, long time.” The woman sighs, finally pulling away, and Katara resists the urge to cry out at the separation. She wants to believe, childishly, that her own touch can heal the wound of a waterbender whose been forced to abandon her way of life, even though that would be like pretending a hug can replace the air in someone's lungs.

Thankfully, the woman cradles Katara’s face in her two hands. “But you’ve granted us a new future.” 

“We took so much time.” Katara says. “I’m sorry we weren’t here sooner.”

“You took the time you needed to take.” 

“I promise no one will hurt you anymore.” Katara whispers, with fury. 

The woman smiles sadly. “No one can promise that, but it never stopped your mother from trying, and _you,_ ” Nuvua smooths Katara’s hair, just like she did for Tapeesa. “Are clearly her daughter.” 

“My mother… she died protecting me.” Katara feels the need to say. 

“I’m sure she’d be so proud of you right now.”

Katara heaves another sob. Why should she have the chance to hear exactly the words she’s been dreaming to hear her entire life? Not from Sokka or her father but from a woman of her tribe, another _waterbender_. After suffering so little in comparison, why should Katara have the chance to feel complete now? 

“Then believe me for her.” Katara speaks to Nuvua, but she’s making a promise to herself. “You'll feel the snow on your skin again. You’ll hear the calls of the seals and you'll sit by the fire with the people you love and you’ll listen to the sound of our drums.” More tears pour from her eyes, and she misses her home both for herself and for Nuvua. “I promise you’ll stare at the sky of stars and never have to worry about losing them until you’ve lived for _decades_ more.” 

Nuvua sighs, and it’s hard to tell whether there’s some joy in the wistful sound. “I’ll try to believe it for you.” She then collects herself for a few moments before guiding the two of them to their feet. 

“Come now.” Nuvua’s hand on Katara’s back feels so natural - the woman touches her as if she’s spent her whole life doing it. “It will be better for Amka and I to collect everyone from their cells, and you can speak to them all when everyone’s together.” 

Katara hesitates. 

“There’s no reason for you to be afraid Katara.” Nuvua reads something in her face, which even her own mind isn’t telling her. “They are your own people after all.” 

***

Nuvua prepares Katara for the fact that there are less than thirty-five waterbender prisoners. Over the years, many have died from infection, starvation, and a failed prison riot a few years before Tapeesa was born. Many of the people who rebelled the most were also taken to the Boiling Rock. Katara takes in the information, but it’s hard to listen to Nuvua speak in such a matter of fact tone. 

“I need to keep the living alive.” Is the only thing Nuvua says when Katara comments on it. “I take a few moments to grieve the dead when I go to sleep at night, but the days are for the ones who are still here.” 

Despite the group being so small, the sight of everyone sends shivers down her spine. It’s been so long since Katara’s stared out at a crowd of people who look like her - she’d almost forgotten the warmth of this familiarity. 

There are still so many differences though. Their dark skin, the same color as hers, is mottled with bruises and scars. Hair hangs in front of their faces. Most are so much thinner than they should be. Many are crying, while some don’t have a single emotion on their faces. But everyone’s eyes continue to glow, even here. 

Slowly, one by one, they each place their hands on their hearts and lower their heads to her. Nuvua, who is only a couple steps away from her, does so as well. 

“No.” Katara shakes her head. “You shouldn’t thank me for this. It wasn’t me!” 

“We heard whispers that a girl from the Water Tribes released the Avatar from ice.” One of the men closest to her speaks. His long grey beard falls to his chest in several thinning wisps. “That was you, wasn’t it?” 

His voice is almost a rasp, but still very gentle. She wonders if Zuko will sound like this, when he grows old. There is something comforting in the thought. 

“Yes, it was.” She swallows. “I’ve been one of his teachers, but Aang was the one to - ” 

“We all thought there would be no waterbenders left.” The man interrupts her. “You have no idea what it meant to us to know you were there, upholding our peoples’ traditions.” 

His words are so comforting they scare her. “You have no idea what it means to _me_ to meet all of you. I’ve… always carried you in my heart.” 

Nuvua steps closer to lay a hand on Katara’s shoulder. “Kallik is the only remaining Elders among us, in this prison. He speaks our truth.”

“You walk with our strength, Katara.” Kallik continues. Murmurs of agreement spread across the group.

As she gazes at their faces, Katara begins to take in everyone’s distinctive features. There is an older woman with a cute, upturned nose, leaning on a man who has long, graceful legs, but also thick arms. Tapeesa stands close to the side of the group, most of her face buried against the waist of Amka, a woman with the prettiest smile Katara’s ever seen, even though her eyes are narrowed in wariness. 

She wants to _know_ all of them. She wants to sit by a fire and hear their stories and memorize the sound of each person’s laughter. 

“I - I’m sorry you’ve been in here for so long.” She tries to find her voice. “But I promise now that Aang has defeated the Firelord, and Zuko has taken the throne - ”

“Zuko?” Another woman jostles past the man in front of her and crosses her arms. She’s clearly the youngest one here - older than a teenager but not by much. “The Fire Lord’s son?” 

“Yes. Him. But it’s not what you think!” Katara rushes to explain at the sight of everyone’s incredulous looks. “He’s the one who left his family to teach Aang firebending.”

Nuvua speaks up in response to several peoples’ dark looks, though her voice is wary as well. “We did hear that his own father burned his face and banished him...” 

Katara’s blood freezes. He’d never told them that. Nuvua, not noticing her surprise, continues. 

“I imagine you’re saying he had a change of heart because of this?”

The young woman - or older girl - who spoke up snorts. “Well, no wonder he helped the Avatar. It was the only way to win back his throne!” 

“No, it wasn’t like that.” Katara feels an inexplicable anxiety settle over her. “His father accepted him back and he made the choice to leave. He… he risked his life to save mine, actually. When we fought his sister together.” 

It’s funny how silence can ripple across a crowd faster than noise.

“But regardless,” Katara realizes that it’s not her place to convince any of these people to believe in him the way she does. They have enough to worry about. “You don’t have to trust him. Aang is the Avatar, who is committed to restoring balance. Most people in the Fire Nation are willing to fall into line and we will _make_ the rest.” 

“You are so young.” Another man says. “But Nuvua told us that you are Hakoda’s daughter, correct?”

Katara falters at the reminder of her father, but still nods. 

“Then I’ll trust you, when you say this new Firelord will promise our safety.” He says, while turning around to address the others. “She is our Chief’s daughter, and deserves that respect.”

“I don’t trust this Firelord as far as I can throw him.” Another older woman scoffs. “Which isn’t far at all, considering how long I’ve been rotting in here. But,” She relents, “This girl has fought for us. I’ll listen to her now, even if she turns out to be wrong in the end. If I’m destined to die at the hands of the Fire Nation, I want it to be while _fighting_ those bastards, not starving in their stone cage!” 

Several others nod their heads and holler out in agreement. Katara smiles at the swoop of energy that moves through her body at the woman’s words.

“I’m honoured by the trust you’ve placed in me.” She tries to pour confidence into her words, remembering her father, her mother, and every other leader she’s ever seen. “While I don’t know what the future of the world holds, the next chapter of history will not come at the expense of our people. We’ll be writing our own fate, not waiting for another nation to tell us what that is.” She’s emboldened by the way so many in the group straighten their backs and raise their chins. “The first part of our freedom will be providing all of you the rest and healing you deserve. I was told that Master Pakku of the Northern Water Tribe is nearby down this path you see, ready to lead you to new rooms in the palace. Earth Kingdom soldiers will stand guard, alongside any of you who wish to do so as well, and soon my father will be here with the rest of the Water Tribe men to take you home.”

Nuvua steps forward, her eyes filling with pride at the sight of the prisoners turning and talking to each other with so much energy. There's a steely sort of animation in their words, and Katara knows that even though they're made of water, there's a fire inside the people of the South as well. 

“I’ll lead the way and speak to this Master Pakku first.” Nuvua says, her eyes growing hard. “I’m sure some of us have words for this man from our sister Tribe, and what they've been doing for the past 100 years.” 

Kallik is the first to follow, but he stops by Katara to lay a hand on her shoulder. 

“Perhaps you should walk up at the end.” He suggests quietly. “Many of them want to speak to you.” 

As the others move to trail behind him, they prove his words correct. 

Most of them don’t try to offer verbal words, but communicate instead through touch. Several grasp her hands, others lay fingers on her hair or cheek. Their touches say so many different things - some say _‘thank you’_ and _‘I’m grateful you’re here,’_ while others say _‘I wish it didn’t take so long’_ and _‘I’m too tired to be glad.’_ She tries to be strong enough to carry the weight of all these emotions they offer to her, and it's easier when she hears them say, _'I'm ready to fight this world, in order to live again.'_

The last person who stops in front of her is the same woman who voiced her doubt over Zuko the loudest. Now that Katara can see her up close, she guesses the girl is in her early twenties, but she looks both much too young and much too old. 

“I played with you when you were a kid.” She says, not with anger or joy or any other emotion. 

“Really?” Katara asks. “How old was I?” 

“Just when you were a couple years old.” She offers a tight smile. “I took care of you when the older women wanted a break. We...” For the first time, she looks uncertain. “We didn’t know you were a waterbender then.” 

“Oh.” 

“Yeah.” 

They stand together in silence, until they’re the last to linger by the cells with everyone having gone ahead.

“My name’s Nukilik.” She finally says, with a little more anxiousness. “I don’t know if you’ve heard of me?” 

“I… no, I’m sorry. Back in the village, no one… talks about the people who were taken.” Katara scrambles for some comforting words when the girl’s eyes widen in pain. “My brother and I always tried to ask, but - ”

“Maybe you know my father, Silla?” The girl demands. 

“Oh, I do…” Katara wishes the ground would swallow her up, so she wouldn’t have to give anymore bad news. “He… he died in a fishing accident when I was very young.” 

Nukilik lets out a breath, that isn’t quite a gasp or a cry. She buries her face in her hands. 

“I’m so sorry Nukilik.” She steps forward, but the girl raises a palm to stop her from touching. 

“My mother died when I was young too.” Katara still says, hoping the words will mean something. Judging from the way Nukilik doesn’t lift her face, they don’t. 

When the girl finally stands up straight again, she has the same emotionless expression on her face as before. “I was the last to be taken, eight years ago.” She says. “I was fourteen.” 

Katara doesn’t respond. She’s all too aware of the unspoken question in the air - _why did you escape this fate and not me?_

“Everyone will be so happy when you come home.” Katara attempts. 

Nukilik scoffs. “Considering they didn’t remember me, I’m not sure that’s worth much.”

“I think it was too painful for them to talk about.” 

“Not as painful as it was to be in here.” The girl counters, and Katara can hardly argue with that. 

“I’m glad you were spared.” Nukilik then says, her words stiff. It’s a begrudging gratitude, tied too closely with envy, but genuine nonetheless. 

“I’m grateful that it gave me the chance to help everyone now.” Katara admits, while wrapping her arms across her own stomach. 

Slowly, they both agree without words to begin walking out of the prison together. It’s Nukilik who breaks the silence again after a few moments. “There was one woman who escaped these prisons. She was the only one. Everyone’s always told stories about her. I was wondering… if she made it back home?” 

Nukilik’s words instantly propel Katara back to the time she learned how terrible she had the power to be, and how addictive being untouchable was. 

“You mean Hama.” Katara says darkly. “She didn’t come back to the Southern Water Tribe. She stayed in the Fire Nation.” 

“What?” Nukilik’s eyes go wide. “No, that’s not possible. No one would _willingly_ stay in this… awful place.” 

“Prison changed her.” Katara mutters. “She became someone awful herself, only existing to get revenge by imprisoning and hurting innocent people.” 

“You met her.” Nukilik slows her pace, deep in thought. “In the Fire Nation?” 

Katara nods. “We had to save some villagers from her.” 

The girl freezes. “You left her behind.” Katara reels at the disbelieving fury in the girl’s eyes. 

“She was hurting - ”

“Yes!” Nukilik whirls around suddenly, causing Katara to stumble back, and snarls. “She was hurting! She was hurting so badly from being chained to a wall for decades! What did you think would happen? That she would just leave and be alright, completely on her own?” 

“I - ” 

“You’ve never lived her life! Who were you to judge it?”

Katara’s heart pounds. “We had to defend the villagers!” 

“Who probably killed her! Is that what you wanted? For her to _die_?” Nukilik yells. “You have it in you to forgive your precious Firelord, but not a woman of your own Tribe, who lived a life most could never imagine?” 

There are no words inside Katara to defend herself. 

“Unbelievable.” Nukilik shakes her head. 

When the girl turns away, with one last disgusted look, and continues walking, Katara doesn’t follow. She waits until Nukilik is long gone before even trying to move. In her head, she’s stuck in the woods under the light of the full moon. 

***

Aang is the first one she sees when she returns from the dungeons. She knows that she should find Nuvua to make sure everyone’s settling in as smoothly as possible, but she can’t bring herself to do that. Her own selfishness makes her nauseous, but she doesn’t try to fight it. 

He grabs both of her arms when she almost stumbles into him. “Katara, what’s wrong?” 

“I’m fine.” But there’s a ringing in her ears, that doesn’t go away.

“You don’t look fine!” He holds something frantic at bay in his voice, while guiding her away from the crowd of passing Fire Nation servants, Earth Kingdom warriors, doctors, and so many other people she wishes would disappear. Things feel a bit more private when they’re behind a marble pillar, but not by much. “Did something happen in the prison? Are you sick? You should sit down!”

It’s odd to realize that he’s staring up at her, considering how small she feels. It doesn’t make sense to tower over him. 

“I need Appa.” She whispers pathetically. “Can we take Appa?” 

“Appa?” He shakes his head. “Katara, I really think you should sit down. You’re scaring me.”

“I need to leave.” A part of her wishes he would just understand what she’s saying, so she wouldn’t have to fight to put all of it into words. “I need to get out of here.” 

“You mean the palace?” 

She offers a few short jerks of her head to say yes. “It’s too hot here. It’s too much.” 

“Katara, it’s night right now.” Aang enters a state of full-blown panic. 

“Aang, I’m taking Appa whether you want me to or not!” She finally snaps, pushing his hands off of her. “If you want to come, you can, but I don’t care!”

“Okay!” Is the only response he can offer, despite the fear lingering on the edge of his voice. 

She’s aware that the Katara he knows is far away right now, and coming with her is not too different from flying off with some stranger. He’s never had to meet this Katara, but now she can’t protect him from it. 

But he still says, “Let’s go somewhere.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope people liked this chapter!! It was supposed to include Katara's upcoming conversations with Aang, but then it got really long and emotional, and I thought it would be best to save that for next time. I really wanted to capture these prisoners' diverse emotions/reactions to trauma after the unbelievable pain they went through - some react with hope, some react with anger, and everything else in between. I'd love to hear peoples' honest thoughts on whether everything here felt natural and/or real! 
> 
> I also want to add that I actually went back and made many edits/additions to the first chapter of this story, because it wasn't where I wanted it to be in comparison to the other two chapters, but I'm feeling much better about it now :) 
> 
> I should be getting the next chapter out around the end of February, which will include Katara connecting with Aang and the rest of her friends/family, and there will be some actual Zutara in this Zutara story (which I'm hyped to share). 
> 
> I hope you all keep well and healthy until then <3


	4. grieving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katara remembers her time with Zuko after they confronted Yon Rha. She decides to be honest with Aang, which helps them both finally grieve together.

On most days, moving through the clouds is finding a way to breath again. 

When she was a little girl, Katara wished there was a way to move so high that she’d finally be able to see the entire world, laid out in front of her. Maybe then she’d have the knowledge she needed to rearrange the pieces and create a situation in which she and her tribe wouldn’t have to constantly lose. Regardless of whether or not it was realistic, there was a part of her that had been  _ certain _ it would all make sense if she could just  _ look  _ at it. When Aang had shown them a way up, it finally felt like she was about to touch the power she had dreamed of.

Obviously, the world is so much bigger than her six, or even eleven, year old self had imagined, and they’ve never been able to fly high enough to see it all, but there is still a sense of calm that comes from knowing that when the world is too painful, there’s a way for her to rise above those limits. 

Now, Aang has assumed his place at Appa’s head, but she doesn’t pay much attention to where he flies them. She’s too busy watching the clouds grow as they roll across the sky, simultaneously swallowing the moonlight and basking in it.

Flying at night sends a particular, indescribable energy thrumming through her blood. From this high up, with all this invisible water just a flick of a wrist away, she knows that almost no one can stop her from doing anything she wants to do. After all the helplessness she’s felt over the past couple of days, she loves this. She loves this more than she can ever put into words. 

It’s terrifying. 

How can being in control feel so much like spinning out of it? There’s too much anger buzzing inside her, so much so that the emotion could become anything if she let it. The last time she felt like this, she almost killed a man. He deserved it, but that detail hardly matters right now, when she’s certain she could do more, and so much worse. 

The clouds are too hungry to offer any comfort tonight. The sky is busy as well, waiting to see if it will consume or be consumed. While the moonlight seems much more gentle than everything else, Katara knows better - she knows it could dissolve the clouds and absorb the sky, if it wants to, and finds the right reason. 

_ They’re going to suffer, Katara.  _ Hama had told her.  _ They’re going to suffer for all they’ve done.  _

When the waterbender had been taken away in chains that night, Katara had cried. She’d cried at the thought of how much the words  _ made sense _ . Not the part about rounding up innocent civilians or locking up people who’d done nothing but live their lives the best they could, even though they were living with more safety and certainty than she’d ever had. No, it was the idea of  _ making someone pay  _ and having all the power necessary to do it. Realizing that she could experience that darkness was like discovering desire for the first time. 

Katara hates the people who hurt her. She hates the people who hurt the waterbenders, who’ve spent decades in prison. She hates Hama for showing her how easy it would be to hurt them back. 

Aang would hate her if he could see her thoughts right now. 

When she breathes, the cold air swings through the insides of her body. It splashes over all her memories, which are swirling and overflowing into her consciousness. Rather than bothering to hold them back, she closes her eyes and succumbs to them, by remembering the last time she felt this amount of anger and confusion.

*** 

_ She and Zuko flew hours away from Yon Rha before he landed Appa on a tiny island in the dead of night. He didn’t wait for her to move out of the creature’s saddle before beginning to unpack their supplies, like the tents and blankets and food. It would not be uncharacteristic for him to toss things out rather haphazardly, but he was careful this time, as if he knew one heedless step would be enough to push her over some sort of edge.  _

_ When everything was laid out upon the ground, and Appa had already begun snoring, Katara watched Zuko begin to set up a campfire. He even found a couple of fallen tree logs to roll over, likely for the two of them to either sit upon or lean against. Knowing she wouldn’t be able to contribute much, she chose to turn away and gaze at the moon instead.  _

_ The wind beat against her face. Her body was primed, ready to catch every sound, from the snap of a twig to the snuffle of an animal. Every rustle between the tree leaves sent shivers through her body, making the anger inside her feel even more unstable.  _

_ “Would you be okay with me starting the fire?” Zuko asked from behind her, directing the words at her back, but she barely heard them. “I know you… might not want to be around any firebending right now.” When she didn’t say anything, he went ahead and set the wood alight, which sent a series of snaps crackling through the air.  _

_ “Are you hungry?” Zuko asked.  _

_ Instead of responding, Katara buried her face in her hands and screeched.  _

_ The screeching quickly turned to wailing; she could feel herself slip down unto her knees as she tried to pour all of the memories out of her body.  _

Her mother’s long, shining hair. The smell of fire swallowing ice. Climbing a hill of snow to stare at the old steel ship. The shape of Yon Rha’s eye, stamped in her mind. Her heart pounding hard as she ran for her father. Holding her brother tight while watching their father’s boat grow smaller in the distance. The repetitive motion of sowing, over and over again - to hold together the clothes, her Tribe, her family, herself.

_ Katara was sitting in fetal position by the time her fury had dissolved into mere whimpers. She still wanted so badly for the entire world to hear her pain, even if no one cared, because she had already spent too much time pretending she didn’t mind - and even enjoyed - shouldering these burdens. Pretending they hadn’t torn her in two every day, and pretending they weren’t crushing her now. But she was already too exhausted to beg for freedom from this loneliness of responsibility.  _

_ As she sniffled, a blanket slipped over her shoulders.  _

_ “Should I put out the fire?” Zuko’s quiet rasp flowed over her. It shouldn’t have been as soothing as it was.  _

_ Slowly, she shook her head.  _

_ “Do you want to move closer?”  _

_ His hands hovered near as she rose to her feet, but he was careful not to touch her, even as he stayed a step behind, with the heat of his body brushing against her back. But as soon as she was sitting in front of the flames, and leaning against the log for stability, he moved to the opposite side of the fire, and she was entirely too alone again.  _ _ She pulled at the edge of her blanket to wrap it tighter around her, even as she knew it was far from the comfort she needed. It was only then that she noticed how Zuko was warming a pot filled with water upon the fire.  _

_ “You don’t know how to cook.” She mumbled.  _

_ “I know enough.” Zuko responded, while stirring the contents in the pot. “You haven’t eaten much during this entire trip. You need food.”  _

_ “I don’t want food.” Her own whininess grated her ears. Zuko ignored her anyways. “I want something else.” Those were the magic words to get him to lift his eyes and provide his attention. “I want you to come closer.” She whispered.  _

_ His unscarred eye widened, though he made no attempt to move.  _

_ “Please.” _

_ There was still wariness in his face when he pulled himself up and took a few tentative steps forward, while scratching the back of his neck. “Where do you want me?” When she lifted both of her arms a little, to show that she wanted him much closer than anticipated, he looked as if he was about to choke.  _

_ “Uh… are you sure?”  _

_ Katara dropped her arms and turned her head away. “I’m so scared of myself right now.” Tears pricked the corners of her eyes. “It’s lonely.” She didn’t know how else to describe it.  _

_ The suggestion that perhaps he was just a convenient human body to lean against seemed to ease whatever worries were racing through his mind. He took a few quick steps and dropped into a sitting position beside her, so smoothly it reminded her of how easily he had guided them through the multiple Fire Nation ships they’d infiltrated. When she dropped her head upon his shoulder, it was clearly tensed up, along with the rest of his body. It sent another wave of pain through her.  _

_ “Don’t pretend for me.” She pulled away. “If I make you uncomfortable, just move. I didn’t mean to force you.” _

_ “You didn’t want me within ten feet of you two days ago!” Zuko said in defense. “I’m just trying to… understand what you want.”  _

_ “Right now, I want someone to hold me,” She said, while wrapping her arms around her chest. “But only if they’re actually willing.”  _

_ “Okay.” Zuko took a deep breath and squeezed his eyes shut. Then he opened his arms into an offering of a hug.“If that’s what you want.”  _

_ She stared at him.  _

_ “You said you wanted… to be held.” A combination of panic and frustration spread across his face, but he kept his arms open.  _

_ “Why are you closing your eyes?”  _

_ “Do I look like someone who hugs a lot?” There was a little bit of helplessness in his voice. “Will you please just decide what you - ” _

_ She finally accepted his arms, which effectively silenced him. The first thought that entered her mind was how shockingly warm he was, and how that felt so much better than any blanket she’d ever been under. This was like wading through the summer sun in the Earth Kingdom. After a few minutes, a good deal of the tension left his body and he shifted a bit closer to hold her tighter.  _

_ “I thought you were still angry with me.” There was some hope simmering under his words, though he clearly tried to keep the emotion at bay. _

_ “I don’t know Zuko.” She sighed, knowing she couldn’t promise that her anger towards him wouldn’t return tomorrow. “I’m just so confused. I am angry, but I’m not sure if it’s with you or Yon Rha or the Fire Nation or myself.”  _

_ It felt instinctive, the way he started rubbing little circles upon her back.  _

_ “Yourself?” _

_ “That… thing you saw me do with the ship captain? Where I…took over the man’s body?” She felt Zuko’s nod. “I promised myself I’d never do that.”  _

_ Zuko paused. “Hmmm.”  _

_ “It was evil.” She emphasized.  _

_ He offered another non-committal hum.  _

_ “Don’t you think so?”  _

_ “What does my opinion matter?” Zuko murmured. “I’ve hardly been a standard of morality.”  _

_ “Still.” She muttered, without making any attempt to end the hug. “I’d like to know.”  _

_ “Well, then I’d ask if you think it’s more evil than burning someone alive?” He offered his words with a gentleness that she didn’t know he was capable of. “Or hitting them so hard with a rock they bleed to death from the inside?”  _

_ “I took someone’s control away, Zuko. Control over their  _ body _.” She tried to explain. “To me, that’s worse than taking away their life.”  _

_ He didn’t seem to have an answer to that. Then after a few moments of contemplation, he spoke again. “You were so kind to me.” He said. “In Ba Sing Se. More than I ever deserved then. I don’t think anyone with that much compassion should have to doubt their own… goodness."  _ _ They both spent several more moments listening to the sound of each others’ heavy breaths.  _

_ “It would be so easy to become like them though.” She finally responded. “The people who hurt me.”  _

_ “Katara,” Zuko scoffed lightly. “They hurt people to show how powerful they are.”  _

_ “So?” Katara almost laughed. “You think I don’t like the feeling of power? You don’t think it excites me? Well it does. A lot.” She practically spit out the final words.  _

_ “Not if it means hurting someone weaker than you.” Zuko’s hand just brushed against the bottom of her hair. She could tell it was subconscious, the way his fingers nudged the ends of the strands. “That’s why you spared Yon Rha, right? If he was big and powerful you wouldn’t have hesitated to kill him. But he was helpless and empty. And you don’t hurt the weak.”  _

_ Katara was struck to her core.  _ _ “How did you know that?” She choked. The vulnerability of the moment left her feeling naked, and the only solace was knowing that if she buried her face in his chest, she wouldn’t have to risk looking at his face. So she did that.  _

_ “You remember Zhao, don’t you?” Zuko asked.  _

_ The man’s uncomfortably prominent sideburns entered her mind. She nodded.  _

_ “I fought him. More than once. And when I did, I wanted to hurt him so badly. I wanted to prove how much more powerful I was, so he wouldn’t try to control me again. But the minute he was on the ground, completely helpless and at my mercy… I couldn’t.” He looked away. “Same for my father. When I faced him before leaving to join you all… let’s just say I was glad it’s Aang’s destiny to defeat him, not mine.”  _

_ She moved away to get a proper look at his face, and she wasn’t surprised to find his eyes glowing with the memory. Her fingers found his unscarred cheek.  _ _ “You’re not a destructive person.” She whispered, lost in thought. “You weren’t made to hurt people.”  _

_ Zuko didn’t say anything, but the sound of his breath was very faint.  _

_ “It’s confusing.” Katara acknowledged, almost under her breath while she moved her hand away, She wondered if she imagined the hitch in his breath. “It’s confusing that you understand me.”  _

_ Zuko looked into the fire, likely to avoid her eyes. “I shouldn’t have compared you to me. We both know you would never hurt others in the way I have, multiple times, and… I just made a lucky guess.”  _

_ “It just seems that you also understand… how awful the Fire Nation has been. You don’t believe the things they believe.” Katara shook her head little helplessly. “So why did you pick them? When you had the choice?” _

_ Zuko let out a deep exhale. “I just didn’t think about it. I wanted to go home, so much that I didn’t really care what home was. I just focused on the anger inside me, so I could forget everything else.”  _

_ Katara couldn’t say she liked the answer, but it didn’t surprise her. “It was hard to see you that angry. Even when you were chasing us.” She brought her knees to her chest. “I know you won’t believe it, but I wanted to trust you very badly.”  _

_ “I do believe it.” Zuko said earnestly. He automatically leaned forward, before remembering to keep himself calm. “I remember you offering to heal Uncle. Then offering to heal me. And I just took all of that, and threw it back in your face, with a good deal of fire.” He squeezed his eyes shut. “I’m sorry your belief in me was so misplaced. When I saw Aang fall… I hadn’t realized how much of a child he was, or is, until that moment. I knew you probably saved him, but the idea of being responsible for the death of such a little kid…  _ I’m _ still furious with myself, so I know it’s all… ten million times worse for you.”  _

_ “Well.” Katara couldn’t deny any of that, and didn't have much desire to, considering the memory of holding Aang, dead in her arms, was still so fresh in her mind. “It was easier being angry at you than being sad about it.”  _

_ “Yeah. I… get that.” Zuko wrinkled his nose. “I mean I don’t get it, because I’m not you, but I know anger is easier than pain, and you’ve had enough pain, and you’re allowed to be angry at me, even though I wanted you to forgive me, and I’m sorry for trying to make you. Angi, I’m sorry for making this about me - ” _

_ “Zuko.” She placed a hand on his arm. “I get what you mean. Don’t worry.” He swallowed his uncertainty and nodded with a few jerks of his head. “I can’t say my anger’s gone but… it doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate…you being here...” Continuing the words amid all the complicated emotions was suddenly too hard for her, which Zuko seemed to realize.  _

_ “You don’t have to explain.” Zuko offered a sad smile. “This is already more than I deserve.” She made an absentminded, non-committal sound, but she didn’t move her hand away as they both waited for the other to say something.  _

_ “Did I do the right thing?” She finally asked.  _

_ “With Yon Rha, you mean?”  _

_ “Yes.” She waited for his response with bated breath. A particularly hard gust of wind swung over them at that moment, sending the flames spiralling in all directions, but Zuko quickly raised his hands to lower the fire, even though it meant pulling away from her hand. She tightened her now empty fingers around the edge of her blanket as a replacement, because she still needed something to hold.  _

_ “Do you think you could have made a different choice?” He asked, while trying to keep the fire still as the wind continued to beat at them.  _

_ “What do you mean?”  _

_ “I mean,” Zuko finally turned to her, and she was surprised to find that the firelight reflected in his golden eye no longer scared her, like it did on some nights in the Western Air Temple. “Do you think you could have killed him? Or that you could have avoided going after him?”  _

_ His gaze froze her limbs to the spot. “I think that either of those options would have killed me.” She admitted. “On the inside.”  _

_ “Then there you go.” Zuko said with a small smile. “ _ You’re _ the one who matters, not that disgusting excuse of a man.” He pursed his lips. “You shouldn’t have to destroy yourself by protecting or harming someone who only lives to hurt people with less power than him.”  _

_ Her heart was too tender now, too fragile, so Katara lifted both of her arms again, and this time he automatically knew to bring her into a hug. She rubbed her cheek against his chest once she was settled against it. _

_ “You can trust yourself, okay?” Zuko said, with a little more ferocity than before. “Just trust yourself.”  _

_ Tears sprung in her eyes, but she was sure that her next question would ruin this web of safety he’d woven between them. “And what if trusting myself meant never forgiving you? Would you be okay with that?”  _

_ But again, he surprised her with his response, which was so automatic she knew he couldn’t have pretended. “I want to be worthy of your forgiveness. I don’t want to stop fighting for it, the way I don’t want to stop fighting to be good. Because you know what good is.” Zuko paused, before plunging forward. “But if you think I’m not worthy right now, or that I never am, then you shouldn’t listen to anyone else. Just trust yourself.”  _

_ Katara started to cry.  _

_ “Did I… did I say something wrong?” Zuko started to shift away, but she held him tight so he couldn’t move.  _

_ How could she say that no one besides her mother had ever told her to pick herself? Over others, and especially over them.  _

_ “You trust me.” She said helplessly.  _

_ “...Yeah. Of course.”  _

_ She didn’t say anything else. But she mouthed the words against his chest, and repeated them too, while knowing both that he wouldn’t be able to hear and that she didn’t want him to yet - ‘I trust you too. I fought it for so long, but I trust you too.’ _

***

_ I trust you.  _ Zuko had said.  _ Trust yourself.  _

She scrambles out of Appa’s saddle as soon as they land, on some piece of grassy earth with trees and dirt and the sound of water nearby - the details don’t concern her much at this moment. She ignores Aang’s tentatively outstretched hand, slips down the sky bison’s leg, and immediately falls to her knees. Just like when she was with Zuko all those nights ago, she promptly begins to cry. There are rocks and twigs burrowing into her legs, while the wind blowing from behind tangles her hair and shoves the strands into her dry mouth, but she makes no attempt to move. 

_ Trust yourself.  _ She repeats Zuko’s words.  _ Trust yourself Katara.  _

_ There’s no trust left now,  _ is the thought she chokes on. 

Aang crouches down beside her, and the helplessness arising from his body is palpable. “Katara, what’s happening to you?” But there’s no response from her, partially because she’s too busy spitting out hair and rubbing her face, but also because she doesn’t know how to even begin answering that. 

“I don’t like seeing you like this.” Aang drops his voice to a frantic whisper. “It’s so so hard to see you like this.” 

_ Harder to see than it is for me to feel it?  _ She wants to yell, even though she knows holding the anger at bay is important. There are years and years of fury building inside of her - moments upon moments of wishing she could scream and cry and be childish instead of so grown up. But she  _ chose  _ to grow up, chose to offer that maternal love so willingly - to Aang, and to her family. Was it really fair to turn around and feel angry at them for accepting what she gave? So she only continues to cry and hopes he’ll say the right things. 

After turning his head from side to side and wringing his hands for several minutes, he murmurs, “Maybe I should give you some space and come back in a bit.” 

Terror arcs through her body, and a traitorous voice slips into her thoughts.  _ You’ve never left him when he’s upset. Never, not once. But he can’t offer the same to you now?  _

“You’re going to leave me?” She sobs, her own mind louder than anything he could say. 

“No!” Aang’s eyes widen, and he grabs one of Katara’s shoulders. “Of course not, I just thought - ”

“It’s fine.” She whispers. “Just leave.” 

“That’s not what I meant Katara!” Frustration slips into his voice. “I’m trying to help you, but I don’t know what you want from me! You’ve never… you’ve never gone through something like this before.” His hand flinches when the shoulder he’s holding tenses up. 

“That you know of,” she breaths. 

“Yeah.” Aang chews his bottom lip. “Yeah… I guess you’re right.” No matter how confused she’s become, seeing the forlorn look on his face sends an ache into her heart, so she lifts a hand and drops it, rather haphazardly, on one of his arms. 

“Just please stay.” She says. “I  _ want _ you here.” 

That brightens something in his eyes and he shifts a little closer. “Do you want a hug?” Katara considers the option for a moment, before eventually nodding her head, allowing him to reach for her. 

“I want to help you.” He murmurs into her hair once settling his arms around her. The particular way he hugs - by squeezing as hard as he can - grounds her, so she feels less like a doll about to be swept away by the wind, which keeps changing its mind on the direction it wants to blow in. “I really, really want to help you.” 

“I know.” She sighs. “I know Aang. I’m just upset.”

“Do you want to tell me more?” 

Katara purses her lips, wondering how to summarize all her failures into a sentence or two. “We’ve left behind so many people.” She finally says. “All year. So many people were hurt, but we barely thought of them.”

“But we had a larger mission, Katara. We did what we could - you know that. And you always made sure we stayed to help, even if the others didn’t want to. You’re so good like that.” Aang wrinkles his eyebrows when he tries to look at her face. “Are you thinking of someone in particular?”

Katara licks her drying lips, though there’s not much water left on her tongue either. “In the prison, there was a girl who asked about Hama. And where she ended up, after escaping from her years and years of suffering.” 

“Hama?” Aang’s hands slip away in shock, and losing his warmth feels so much colder than never having it in the first place. 

“And I realized that she’s rotting in a jail right now.” She squeezes her eyes shut. “She’s probably rotting away, like she did for  _ decades  _ before, when that was what broke her in the first place.” 

Aang stares at the ground, clearly struggling to process her words. “I hadn’t even thought of her since that time we had to save the villagers.” 

“I have.” Katara says darkly. “I’ve thought of her everyday. When I comb my hair, when I wash the clothes. When I bend.” She sighs. “I think of her most when I’m angry.” 

“I didn’t realize, Katara.” Aang shakes his head in awe. 

“Yeah. Well.” Katara begins pulling at her own hair, hoping it will distract from the sound of water crashing in the distance, and wishes for the first time in her life that it would just stop for a moment. “I spend all my time thinking about how much I don’t want to be her. How much I don’t want any women of my Tribe to be like her. I want us to be better - I want us to be brave and strong after surviving, without ever becoming angry or vicious. And I’ve just been scared that some sort of trauma could make me like her.” 

“You could never be like her Katara!” Aang immediately leaps to her defence. “Never at all!” 

“Why?” Her irritation spikes. “Because I wouldn’t bloodbend? Because I wouldn’t kill someone? Is that why?” Aang looks in her eyes, and she knows he wants to ask whether she would, but he also doesn’t want to hear the answer. So he blinks rapidly before shifting his gaze away. 

“I could be like her very easily.” Katara clenches her fists. “And I was angry she taught me that.” 

Aang nods his head, though he’s still in a daze. “And has something changed now?” 

Katara sniffs. “I spent so much time trying not to be like her that I forgot she has a reason for being the way she is. She needed my compassion, not my contempt.” 

Aang moves into a cross-legged position, and it almost signals his shift in perspective, away from a young boy trying to comfort his friend into someone older. “You’re right. She did deserve better. She did deserve healing,” He acknowledges, “But she also broke your trust, and tried to use you for her plans, and I don’t think it’s fair to expect yourself to be ready to help someone right after they hurt you like that, even if they need it.” Aang reaches for her arm. “When someone brings out the worst in you… it makes sense to want them far away.” 

But Katara pulls away from Aang’s hand; she’s unwilling to accept any reasoning that lessens the blame she’s determined to carry, no matter how reasonable the argument sounds. “But she didn’t have anyone else who even  _ could  _ help! She was so hurt… and she  _ needed  _ our help! After being tortured… neither of us have been tortured Aang, what would we know about what that could do to a person? She belongs in the Southern Water Tribe, and my people are perfectly capable of deciding what they want justice to look like.” Katara chokes at the thought. “If I didn’t try to have compassion for her, who in this world would?” 

“That’s true.” Aang looks at his own hands, which are now clasped tight. “But I don’t think it’s helpful to spend time thinking about it.” 

Katara’s head snaps up. “You want me to forget about her?” 

“No! We can still try to find her. There’s lots we can do to make things right. But in the meantime… I’m just trying to say…” He bites his lip. “It’s not helpful to remember painful things.” 

“She’s a woman of my Tribe!” Katara glares, while planting her hands on the ground to stabilize herself. “How could you even suggest that? What’s the point of saving the world if I don’t even care about my own people!” 

Aang freezes, before slowly shaking his head. “At least you have people to care for.” He whispers. 

All the anger immediately floods out of her body, leaving her cold. “Oh Aang… I’m so sorry. That was so insensitive - ” She reaches for him, but he stands up instead, away from her hands, and begins pacing back and forth, while crossing his arms and uncrossing them, over and over again.

“Aang I know - ”

“You don’t!” Aang snaps, before clenching his fists and taking several calming breaths. She notices the wind pick up around them, beginning to move in hurried circles. A twinge of fear brushes against her heart, from the memory of when he first discovered Monk Gyatso's skeleton. She knew how to help him then, though the knowledge alludes her now. 

“I have to forget.” A valley of pain simmers beneath Aang’s deceptively soft voice. “If I remember that I woke up one day to learn that my people were just entirely gone, from this entire world…” He chokes. “How on earth am I supposed to just… deal with that? Every day?” He squeezes his eyes shut. “I can’t. Forgetting is the only option.” 

Katara immediately pulls herself to her feet and grabs his arm to stop his restless movements. She takes him into her arms and holds his head to her chest, hoping beyond hope that she can push enough love into his tiny body so there won’t be anymore room for grief. 

“Of course that makes sense. Of course.” Katara grips him tighter. 

“You all didn’t understand why I couldn’t kill Ozai. But my culture… my people… everything’s  _ gone. _ ” His voice still trembles, but he doesn’t let the tears fall. She still feels them in her own eyes though. “Everything’s  _ gone.  _ How could I let go of this last thing?”

“We were surprised, but we all should have talked about it earlier, because after everything, you deserved our understanding on this.” She rocks them from side to side, just a little. 

“It’s so lonely.” Aang whispers. “Knowing there’s no one in the world who’s… who’s gone through this.”

“You don’t have to justify that to anyone.” Katara tries to bring him even closer, even though that’s not possible. “You don’t have to explain how you handle your loss to anyone.” 

“I just… I just thought you were the same. That you also wanted to forget all these feelings. Together.” Aang sighs into her shoulder. "It's... confusing to realize that's not the case." 

Katara’s breath catches in her throat. It would be so easy to lie - she’s done it before. It wouldn’t be hard to become exactly the same as him, if it meant he wouldn’t feel as alone in this world. But that option feels wrong now, because she knows the truth could re-appear at any moment to knock over whatever trust she thinks they're building right now. 

“We’re different people, Aang.” She says carefully, while still rubbing circles upon his back. “We have different ways of responding to this war that… messed up our nations. By destroying yours and robbing mine.” Katara looks away. “I always try to understand you. I always want you to know that I will be here for you to express anything. But you can’t be... upset with me for not being the same as you.” 

“I know. Or at least I know that now.” Aang responds quickly, and he slowly moves out of her arms. He nudges a rock with his foot before gathering the courage to look her in the eye. “But I also want to say… you can’t just be angry at me for being surprised to see a part of you that you never bothered to show me.” 

Katara’s defensiveness rises. “You never wanted to see it.” 

“That’s not true!” Aang’s eyes widen. 

“Yon Rha?” Katara counters while crossing her arms. 

“You wanted to go kill a guy!” Aang throws his hands in the air. “Yeah, I was a little surprised you decided on one random day to just do that! It’s not really something anyone would expect!”

“I was hurt.” She forces her voice to remain calm. “But I was able to make my own choices. The fact you didn’t trust me to do that the  _ second  _ I wanted to make a decision you didn’t like… that  _ hurt _ . I  _ needed _ you to tell me to trust myself. That you trusted me. The fact you didn’t made me feel I couldn’t be  _ me  _ around you.” She’s breathing quicker now, because there’s something exhilarating and terrifying about being this honest. It’s like she’s breaking a rule she never even realized existed. 

Aang opens his mouth in shock, but no words come out. 

“I was trying to protect you!” Katara hurries to say, while crossing her arms, hoping the action will guard her heart. “From everything. Ozai, the world. And  _ myself. _ Because I’m an angry, _messy_ person. But now I don’t think I have the energy to protect you from myself anymore. And I just… don’t know if you can handle that.” 

Aang lowers himself on the ground again, back into a cross-legged position, and rests his face on both of his hands. Katara has to wait in anxiety for him to finish thinking. Slowly, he raises his head. “You have a pretty low opinion of me.” He says dully. “I see that now.” 

“That’s not true.” His words sting her. “You just always wanted so much from me.” 

“I wanted what you gave me.” He glares at her a little. “And you assumed that was the only thing I could want. You made the choice for me.” 

She clenches her fists to stop herself from reaching for him, because if she does that will be the end of her honesty. The desire to pace takes over her as well. “You run away Aang. A lot. Whenever you don’t like something, or think you know what’s best. How was I supposed to know that… all these parts of me weren’t going to make you run too? It’s not like you ever asked!” Her eyes water a little. “You never asked if I was tired, if I needed to talk about my feelings too, or if I wanted to cry on some days. It never even occurred to you!” 

“I didn’t… realize you wanted me to.” He brings his knees to his chest to hug them, and the action makes him look so young. 

She tries to backtrack a little. “You had a lot on your plate and it was _fine,_ I was totally okay with all of this, but then you went and _kissed me_ and wanted even more from me…” Katara trails off. It hadn’t been her intention to bring that up. But that was it, wasn’t it? It _had_ angered her, to willingly give so much to this boy, only to realize that he was upset she wasn’t giving more.

Aang's eyes grow wide while Katara tries to find words to fix the silence. “But it’s fine - "

“It’s not.” He shuts her down. “That’s the issue. It’s not fine. And it’s my fault.” He sighs and shifts to cross his legs again. 

“Really Aang, I’m sorry I brought it up.” 

“Katara, you can’t just treat me like a kid and expect me to act like an adult.” The words are a punch to the chest. “I was entitled. It was wrong. Let me  _ be wrong _ .” 

She swallows before also moving back onto the ground, in a cross-legged position that mirrors his own. They sit in silence while both trying to process each other’s words. Katara always wants to believe her love only brings positive things into peoples’ lives - healing and acceptance. It's hard to consider the fact that maybe her love has hurt Aang in some way, but the truth is lying out in front of her now. 

“You just… you just weren’t kissing me.” She finally says. “Only… an idea of me that you fell for.” 

Aang nods, before re-adjusting himself so he’s facing her properly. He makes sure to hold her gaze before continuing, so she can see how earnest his grey eyes are. “I’m sorry for disrespecting you and your wishes. I’m sorry for not trying to understand how you felt about me before… forcing my feelings on you. I… was so used to turning to you that I became so selfish about it. I thought I could just do it forever and be safe.” 

“You  _ can _ turn to me.” Katara wants to continue but Aang stops her with a raised hand. 

“I wanted to turn to you so I never had to forget what I lost.” He smiles a little sadly. “You help me forget. But that’s also bad,  _ really  _ bad, because… then when you did something that reminded me of my pain and loss and…  _ my  _ anger… I tried to ignore it and reacted badly.”

Something slots into place in her own head, in response to his words. “That’s how I felt about Hama.” Katara almost gasps. “She made me so upset that I… just couldn’t think of her without remembering the parts of myself that scare me.” 

“But Hama wasn’t to you what you are to me.” Aang raises his eyebrows when he looks at her, and there’s still a little too much adoration in his gaze, but she ignores it. “I care about you so much. You’re my best friend.”

“You’re my best friend too Aang.” Katara reaches forward to squeeze his hand. “And I… I said it hurt that you didn’t trust me when I went after Yon Rha. So I know you’re probably hurt that I didn’t trust you enough to talk about this sooner. I’m… so sorry about that.”

“Thank you Katara. But if you didn’t turn to me, it means that I didn’t make you feel comfortable enough. And I  _ want _ to be the person you feel safe turning to, the way I’ve always turned to you. And that means… letting go of the idea of you.” He takes another deep breath. “So tell me.” 

“Tell you?” 

“About you.” Aang gives her a small smile. “I won’t understand all of it yet. But I want to try.” 

Emotion spirals upwards from her heart, lodging itself in her throat. He hasn’t quite offered her acceptance - not yet - but this is so close, and it means more than she could ever possibly describe. “Aang - you - ”

“I want to be a good friend to you. ” He repeats, and his eyes shine with unshed tears as well.

It’s only then that she realizes he is actually waiting for a response, which is odd, because she’s never had to consciously think about what she wants to be. “I like taking care of people.” She attempts to start. 

“Yeah.” He smiles. “You’re good at that.” 

“I’m very used to it.” Her confidence builds as she continues. “Sometimes I wonder if ‘s a choice. It is and it isn’t. It’s complicated.” 

“I never thought of that.” He swallows. 

She looks up at the sky before continuing. The clouds are dissipating, slowly, likely melting away into the wind, so the moon can shine unhindered in the sky. But now she sees that it doesn’t stand up there alone, but with thousands of surrounding stars that she’d forgotten about before. 

“Maybe I can be different one day. Not entirely different… but maybe we can make the world so good that soon no one will need me, or anyone else, to help them.” She drops her eyes back down to him, and offers a small laugh. “That’s probably unrealistic… but I just want things to be better now. For people like us. I don’t want our nations to live in fear anymore. I don’t want people like you and me to be the lucky ones just because we survived. And I think… I'll be willing to fight very hard, and let myself become very angry, to make this happen.” 

Aang meets her eyes, and she’s surprised to see that they’re also steely with determination. “You’ll find her Katara. You’ll find Hama, and then you’ll make it right.” He then looks up at the stars as well. “And I’ll find my people.”

She inhales sharply. “You think that some of the Air Nomads survived?” 

Aang nods. “I can’t explain it, but I feel it in my bones. There must be people who escaped, and lived in hiding with their families for over a hundred years. Maybe not a lot, but enough for us to start again. That I’m  _ sure  _ of.”

Katara shuffles closer to place an arm around his shoulders. “You don’t have to do it alone, okay?” 

Aang turns a little to offer her a tentative, but hopeful, look. “I’ll be on your side, if you’re on mine?” 

“Deal.” She smiles, and this time, she means it. 

*** 

They spend the rest of the night star-gazing together. Aang tells her about the constellations the Air Nomads saw in the sky, and she tells him the stories that people in the Southern Water Tribe have always shared about the stars. There’s a peace that comes with exchanging these tales - it reminds them that cultures are living and breathing, and despite all attempts to snuffle them out, they endure, in their past and in their possibility. 

When the sun begins to peek up from the corner of the horizon, Katara says she’s ready to return. Too much time has passed away, and she’s started to become anxious for Sokka and Zuko and everyone else; but she, surprisingly, doesn’t regret putting herself first for once. 

As they’re climbing unto Appa, Aang can’t resist one final question. “Katara…” He bunches his hands into balls on his lap. “You don’t have to answer this if you don’t want to, but… one day… do you think I could be good for you? As more than a friend?” There is still some hope seeping from the corners of his eyes. 

Katara remains silent for a few moments and avoids his gaze. It would be so easy to offer him just a little bit of hope. She almost does. But then she remembers how upset he looked about her making choices for him. 

”Aang,” She takes a deep breath, “Maybe you need to think more about why you’re sure I’d be right for you.” 

Aang opens his mouth to protest, and she knows what he wants to say. ‘ _ Of course you are! You’re Katara!’  _ Then she watches his face as it slowly crumples like paper under the weight of all the words that are still lingering, unsaid, between them. 

_ How can you know if I’m the one when you still don’t know me?  _ She doesn’t ask the question aloud, but she thinks he hears it nonetheless. 

The silence as they travel back isn’t heavy, even though it’s not joyful either. It’s thoughtful - a little confused as well, but brimming with possibilities that haven’t been considered.

***

Sokka is waiting for them in the Fire Nation palace courtyard when Appa lands. Golden light is flooding the sky by now, but it’s still early enough that most people are only just beginning to rise from their beds. 

“What the hell, Katara!” Sokka throws his hands in the air. “What the actual, flying sky bison hell?” 

“Don’t say that about Appa.” Aang mumbles, while climbing down from his place at Appa’s head. “He didn’t do anything wrong.”

But Sokka continues to bluster, his eyes fixed on Katara as she takes her time climbing out of the saddle, patting down Appa’s ruffled fur, and giving the creature’s front leg a grateful hug for all he’s done to help her find peace during the night. “Do you two have any idea of how  _ stressed  _ I’ve been! The Avatar and my baby sister, just deciding to  _ disappear,  _ right after the war! You could have been kidnapped! You could have been held for ransom by some… angry Fire Nation people!”

“I told Suki we were going on a trip with Appa.” Aang corrects the other boy, before interrupting himself with a yawn. “I’m sure she told you.” 

“That’s not enough! Anything could have happened in the meantime!” Aang waves away Sokka’s concerns before mumbling something about finding a place with shade for him and Appa to sleep outside. 

Sokka lets them both stumble off before fixing another glare on Katara. “I knew you shouldn't have gone to see the waterbenders in prison on your own! I told you it would be too much! But do you ever listen? No!” 

Katara stumbles a few steps forward and throws her arms around her brother, silencing him. 

“It’s okay Sokka.” She says warmly. “I’m okay now.” 

“You need a shower.” Sokka sniffs, though it’s not clear if it’s from tears or irritation or disgust. He still lifts his arms to hold her tight. He may not be as physically affectionate as her, but he knows the kinds of hugs that she likes.

“I need a lot of things.” She lets herself sink into the hug, letting herself bask in the fact that despite all the loss, she’s still always had her brother - he’s been the only constant in her life that she’s ever been able to rely on. And even though everything’s changed now, he’s shown that they’re going to keep taking care of each other. 

“I’ll say.” Sokka huffs. “Let’s find you a bed.” He ends the hug, but still places an arm around her shoulders to guide her up a series of steps into the palace, and through the entire maze of halls and rooms waiting for them. 

“Zuko probably needs healing.” She slurs a little while trying to rub the sleep out of her eyes. Her brother smacks her hand off of her face before directing them around a couple corners. 

“Zuko’s been healing just fine without you. He’s  _ sleeping _ , like everyone should be.” 

“How do you remember your way around this place?” Katara mutters. 

“Well, I’ve been pacing through the halls all night.” Sokka remarks dryly. “So I’m pretty well-acquainted with them by now.” Guilt rises in her heart, as she realizes the extent of what she's put her brother through. 

“I’m really sorry for worrying you, Sokka.” Katara wraps her arms around his waist as they continue walking side by side. “I needed time to think, and Aang took care of me even though you weren’t there.” 

“Yeah, I knew you were probably fine, and Suki told me there was no reason to worry…” Sokka admits with a sigh, “But just don’t cut me out, okay? The thought of that… actually hurts me.” He draws them to a stop in front of a door, which opens to a bedroom that looks pretty similar to all the others that she’s seen, though Sokka seems able to tell the difference.

Before stepping into the room, Katara places both of her hands on her brother’s shoulders. “I promise I’ll tell you  _ everything _ when I’m ready.” She tries to infuse her words with energy, even though there isn't much left inside her. “I’m just processing right now. And when things make a little more sense to me, I want to know everything happening in your head too.” 

“You don’t have to tell me  _ everything. _ ” Sokka rolls his eyes, though he does look pleased. 

“The point is that you don’t need to doubt the fact that I... _ need _ you.” She says, before offering a teasing shrug. “Once in a while. And we both know you definitely need me, so I can hardly just leave you hanging.” 

“Ha! Debatable. Very debatable.” Sokka smirks, before giving her a gentle push into the room. “Now go to sleep you idiot, so you can start looking a little less like death.”

After closing the door behind her, stretching her arms over her head, and wondering how on earth she’s been able to stay awake this long, Katara stumbles unto the bright red sheets of the Fire Nation bed, and finally sleeps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! It was honestly harder than I thought it would be - I had to re-write the two main conversations many times, because in some versions one character would come out too angry, and in other versions another character would become way too understanding. I hope that the conversation between Aang and Katara had the right balance between messy and meaningful - it makes me sad when people take one character's "side" in an argument/disagreement, so I wanted to create a situation that validated the emotions and thoughts that both of them were experiencing from moving into an unprecedented level of honesty in their friendship. 
> 
> Another random point I want to share is that Zuko sending Combustion Man for the gaang in canon made no sense to me, so when I'm trying to understand and write his thoughts/motivations, I usually choose to just ignore that. I'm not erasing the event from my story because that would be such a mess - I just don't really reference or think about it much, if that makes sense. 
> 
> The next chapter is going to speed up the timeline now, as we move into the next 'phase' of the story, so I'll be covering the days (or potentially weeks) leading up to Zuko's coronation. I'm planning for more interactions of the gaang as a group, Katara helping Zuko transition into his political role, and you'll also see much more of Toph because I really miss her. 
> 
> Unfortunately, this will likely be my last update until I finish my undergrad program near the end of April. I might be able to get the next chapter out before April 30, but I also might try to write something for Zutara Month after I finish my exams, so it's more likely that chapter 5 will be out at the beginning of May. But on the upside, my writing productivity always increases when I'm not in school, probably because it's easier to create a schedule when I work consistent hours, so you can expect the frequency of updates to increase then. That being said, comments always lift my heart and help motivate me :) 
> 
> I hope you all keep safe and healthy <3


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